Robert Kazinsky as Jimmy Pritchard, in suspended animation recharge tank in the 2016 FOX TV series, "Second Chance."
Astral Body - Succubus - Kundalini - Descent Of Shakti II - Sexual Awakening - Pranic Parasitism
OR
How I Killed The Astral Body Of A 14 Year Old Girl And Came To Be Plagued By A Succubus Implant
Mother Shakti Goddess Transmission Observations - June 12, 2019
First Some Definitions
The following definitions of astral projection, astral body, succubus, and Kundalini are based on my own experiences of them. There may be other experiences that support variances from the definitions I provide. But these definitions are accurate, at least to the extent that one man, me, has been able to verify them.
Astral Projection. An astral projection is an extension of subtle or etheric energy from the physical body of a human being. It can travel thousands of miles.The astral projection serves the conscious intention of the person it originates from. This capacity is withdrawn and lays dormant when the originating source is distracted or asleep. I do not know what senses are supported through this subtle extension. Can the originating human body "see," "hear" or "touch" through its astral projection? I would not be surprised if these were possible, but I do not know. At the very least, there is a psychic joining or energetic contact that is possible between two people at great distance: one who is capable of projection (e.g., the female), and the other who can sense or perceive these things in a much more limited sphere around the physical body (e.g., the male). While there may be a variety of mechanisms for transmission, at the very least it is a burst of intention along certain pathways within the human body. In my case, I have experienced bursts at my solar plexus; my frontal line from thyroid down to prostate; as well as the pituitary gland working in conjunction with the frontal lobes. If you have seen schematics of how sperm whales transmit sonar to disable a giant octopus (dolphins here), the human brain transmission of psychic energy is something like that. There is an inward focus and almost muscular vibration that results in an audible clicking sound, when it occurs in the brain, whose frequency can range from just a few times to fifty times or more per second.
Astral Body. The astral body is the mature phase of astral projection exhibited by select women. There is a distinct change in the woman's capacity to project energy etherically where now she is capable of projecting a complete astral body. This capacity occurs at sexual maturity. When a female with this capacity has sex for the fist time, the astral body is liberated. Relative to the mere whisps of projected etheric energy in the past, the astral body is larger and more powerful. The astral body is capable of near independent life outside the female's physical form. But it is not stable on its own. It seeks an "other." It must be implanted in a male body. The woman takes great care in choosing the male in whom to implant herself. Normally the recipient is the woman's physical mate, but this does not have to be the case, for example, if there has been intense subtle contact between the girl and another man, or if circumstances are such that the girl and her chosen mate cannot be together physically. The implantation is felt as two fully-formed subtle hands descending down the man's neck and torso, coming together in the abdomen to form a seed or nucleus of a newborn subtle form. This seed or implantation is fed through the male body's own access to subtle energies. In the beginning there is a heavy draw on the testicles in a manner identical to that which follows Kundalini awakening in the male aspirant. The astral body is wed to the man, but it remains in conscious connection with it's physical source, the woman, at all times. Whatever the woman experiences or feels will be felt and resonate through her astral body as well as the male body that it occupies. If the man is not sufficiently prepared, he will be overwhelmed by the astral body. It will come to dominate his consciousness and every function. It can be ruinous. If the man's consciousness already resides in his chest, and he is awakened to Self and the Divinity of Creation, and he is conductive of a force of consciousness ten or more times greater than normal, then it may be the case that the woman's astral body may continue to grow without problem in force (and pleasure) as it aligns with the man's physiologic and subtle systems, coming to share a subtle harmony and union rarely attained or described in spiritual literature. The woman has only one chance in her lifetime at attaining this lifelong spiritual pairing. If the relationship goes badly, her implantation can be rejected, with disastrous consequences for both her and her male consort.
Succubus. A succubus is the opposite of the astral body. It is what remains when the woman's astral body has been rejected or destroyed. As opposed to the largely benign but often overpowering presence of the astral body, the succubus is an entirely negative etheric manifestation. It saps, disrupts, and blocks positive energy within the male body. The succubus is explicitly hostile to any divine intervention that may seek to assist the male aspirant. The succubus seeks to replace God or God's active principle, Kundalini (or Holy Spirit) from functioning within the previously blessed male aspirant. Unlike the full human form that the astral body is capable of replicating on an etheric level, the succubus' active principle is quite small, just an inch or less in diameter. and roots itself like a noxious parasite within the heart of the man. This tiny, but painful node of hostile consciousness can be viewed as an implant. It acts as a homing beacon so that the female form that gives it life knows the male's every mood and physical location. This allows etheric energy, arising from the solar plexus of the female, to find its mark in the offending man, whenever the female chooses. This is enabled by the succubus' invasion and commandeering of the time-and-space transcending portal that is amrit nadi. The succubus, as the hostile conscious principle acting within the man, gathers, coordinates, and deploys etheric energy within the male to do her bidding. She uses energy transmitted from her own physical form as well as prana arising innately, for example from the heart and other endocrine glands, of the man. There is no nadi, or energetic pathway, within the male form that the succubus cannot overstimulate, burn, or deaden as she sees fit. These effects are temporary and must be re-applied after a few hours or days in order to maintain her controlling or frustrating intention. The succubus is capable of great harm: cessation of sleep through overstimulating areas of the brain responsible for sleep; heart racing, misfiring, "explosions" and so forth in the heart muscle that are principally psychic noise created through her inhabiting and disrupting amrit nadi; pain in the right big toe to reduce the flow of energy into the body; excessive stimulation in the genital area to cause a weakening in the male aspirant's resolve; and many other things. Certain breathing exercises, muscular contractions, and visualizations can weaken the hold that the succubus has over the male aspirant. But in the final analysis, only an act of God can break the connection she has made with you. The woman's strength and resolve for vengeance, and the male aspirant's moral and physical fitness, both play roles in the duration and conclusion of this sad mating of star-crossed lovers.
Kundalini. Kundalini is the Holy Spirit. It is God's animating principle, giving rise to life, to development and evolution on all levels, and to the emergence of transcendental consciousness within those beings who are capable of it. Spiritual aspirants seeking divine intervention and answers to their prayers are given the guidance and insight they seek by Kundalini, Holy Spirit, or this Active Principle of God. Kundalini is an evolutionary force or process within the human body that seeks ever greater refinement in insight and force of manifestation. Kundalini seeks the spiritual and ultimately physiologic liberation of all beings.
Beginning Note
Recounts an ongoing -- as of September 28, 2019 -- fascinating and dangerous interaction between myself and a parasitic subtle manifestation in my body. My point of view and corresponding states of hopefulness or despair depend a great deal on when in the timeline I am commenting from. Since February of this year I have been saddled with a negative consciousness that is approximately three times more powerful than my own. Last night it let me sleep. Typically, for the past four months, I have needed Trazodone or hydroxyzine in order to sleep. Both are harmful to your psychic functioning, but they do lessen an alien presence's ability to commandeer your nervous system. The effect of hydroxyzine, in particular, is horrific. It's like a nuclear detonation over your psychic functioning. I believe I need a powerful psychic connection to Source in order to expel this presence. This cleansing simply cannot be achieved while on psychotropic medications. Distance is a factor. When I am 2,000 to 3,000 miles away, the succubus implant -- this psychic invader that I stupidly invited into my life -- is only one-fourth as potent as it is when I am here in Southern California. I am able to sleep without drugs when I am far away. But if I move to Hawaii or Florida, as I have contemplated doing, it would mean a nearly 40% cut in pay. I wouldn't be able to service my debts nor fulfill the various obligations that have grown up about me in the thirty-four years since I awakened these heightened energies.
I owe my mother a considerable amount of money. It is locked up in vacant land and investments that have performed poorly. This on top of the $50K I borrowed for the construction of a military-grade RF enclosure in her living room. She is on a fixed income and needs my financial support. But I feel I am abandoning Shakti/Self by remaining where I am and taking these drugs in order to make it through each day. I dread each night as I approach sleep. Will the succubus be satisfied with a moderate drain on my heart, or will she seek to kill me outright through massive heart misfiring, rapid heart beats, or an intense psychic lock on my cerebellum that makes sleep impossible without drugs? I feel like I am on death row, not knowing whether the next day will be my last one. I no longer feel free. I am occupied by a very powerful and invasive subtle ego. This is an unprecedented state of affairs for me.
One of the few positives is that I have learned quite a bit that I believe will be useful to others. Many people suffer from conditions that I know from experience can be induced directly by a human being with malicious intent who is capable of projecting themselves into another person's being. So I do take at least some pleasure in sharing this painfully acquired knowledge. This activity gives me one more reason not to give up. If my investments in precious metals go up in value considerably relative to the US dollar, I will pay off my mother. I will be able to buy a home in a distant, safer location and resume my spiritual quest from there. But I do not know how lasting the damage is that these drugs inflict; nor do I know whether my circulatory system (that has been the principal focus of attack the past two weeks) can withstand the abuse being heaped on it. I pray that God grants me safe passage through this etheric hellscape.
Introduction
June 2019. I don't know where to begin on this, because I am in the middle of it now. You might say it is bad luck to come to a conclusion before a matter is finished. I know that in some sense this intellectual activity pulls me away from a final transcendence of my condition. But since I don't know how this will end, and it could end badly for me, I think the most helpful thing I can do is to state what I know and believe, to the best of my ability, so as to assist future spiritual aspirants, or simply those poor souls caught up in a situation like mine. I did do a brief Internet search on my problem and frankly, there was little or no relevant information to be found. So, it is my hope that my experiences and reflections may help out a few people. At the very least, it should make for an interesting conversation for those interested in the trajectory of intimate human relationships that God has set us upon. Apart from this page, I have made no journal entries to my website since February 2019; nor have I engaged any creative, non-survival-oriented intellectual inquiry. Let's call it a seven month absence of creative productivity. What has commanded my attention so fully that I haven't found the time or interest to develop content for this online spiritual autobiography? Well, the answer to that question lies in the words on this page.
I have taken copious notes on my interactions with a particular girl. She is thirty-nine years younger than me and still a minor. I've been a teacher the past thirty years. I came into contact with her by way of my employment two years ago. She took an immediate liking to me and began to visit me at night, on an etheric level, shortly after. My being is about as open on the psychic level as a man's can be, thanks to years of preparatory work under Kundalini's strict tutelage. But due to EMF complications associated with the advanced functioning of the heart muscle, I have yet, after twenty-five years, seen fit to transcend my limited self-consciousness. My fear has been that I will need more EMF security than I will be able to achieve working with a Wi-Fi router four feet above my head in the modern school environment and a communications tower 800 meters from my home. So all this advanced architecture inside me, awaiting the conduction of a life force 10x greater than normal, remains unused and, which is something I never thought possible, at risk of hostile takeover from another being. Well, that takeover, for the most part, has happened.
My plan with this page is to provide a broad overview of my interactions with this girl. I intend to create additional pages that will proceed chronologically in accordance with the notes I have taken. There is a lot of information that has a bearing on the spiritual path in general, and is not relevant solely to astral body and succubus behavior.
If you are a woman with capacities similar to those outlined here, and you would like to share your point of view with me, and you are okay with my summarizing your input into a paragraph of its own that I present to the general public, I would be delighted to add your voice to the conversation. There isn't much information available on interactions of this sort. So your informed perspective would be helpful to share.
Namaste.
Just Two
In my 54 years on Earth I have met only two women with exceptional shakti transmission capacities. One was a 23-year-old mother of two, while the other was a 12-year-old girl who I met in the course of my employment as a school teacher. I am pretty sure these girls weren't students of the occult. I believe they were born with these gifts. I think a lot more is demonstrated when the girls seek to reveal themselves to someone. But I also believe that there is a charge about them that makes itself known in a spontaneous manner to those with discernment as a matter of course if you spend enough time with them. With respect to the mother of two, all that her aunt could confirm was that people sensed "electricity" about her.
Who's The Rarest?
Even though I have knowingly met just two such girls, I imagine I have crossed paths with more than that, but we weren't near each other long enough for me to pick up on any unusual energetic capabilities. Also, I believe I wasn't able to sense heightened energy in others until the descending force of Kundalini awakened my brachial plexus and set my heart muscle into a higher order of functioning, producing a hormone that is directly related to the perception, amplification, and transmission of just such energies. So it is that prior to 1994, at age 29, I would have been blind to the energetic capacity of such women. Given that these women are born with advanced subtle functioning -- or within whom it emerges naturally in the course of their maturation -- there should be some statistical referent we can point to. Do one in one thousand have this capacity? Or is it one in three thousand? For the purpose of my initial foray into this subject, I would say that the gifts demonstrated, at the intensity I observed, occur in just one in three thousand girls. So that would be one girl possesses these traits for every two large 3000-student (half boys, half girls) high schools. But this is just a guess. These women are not constantly emitting. It's only when they choose to transmit that another person who is sensitive to such transmissions may feel them. The rate of occurrence could be higher due to most women with this ability having to make a conscious effort toward a particular person for it to be perceptible in him or her.
Having said this, and this is somewhat beside the point, I would like to say that I am likely rarer still. This is because men, for the most part, are not born with spiritual capacities. Subtle siddhis or attainments are bestowed upon them after intense effort and supplication have been demonstrated. They are gifts earned after birth. But the world is a highly distracting place. The intense internal directedness required is rarely achieved. This is just a haphazard guess; but I would suggest that for every 1000 subtly empowered girls there is just one similarly empowered man. Men of this sort are probably rarer than that, but I have no data to support the claim. But this could explain the 12-year old's instinctive attraction to me. She behaved more like a salmon seeking it's spawning ground than a human being with consciously arrived at needs. I am sorry I wasn't fit for her, and that EMF and social mores presented the insurmountable roadblocks that they did.
Virginity. It's Actually A Bigger Deal Than You Think.
Okay. This is just my experience. But I am going to put it out there. For these subtly empowered women, their psychic abilities are present within them long before adulthood. They can touch you from many miles away. They can cause various sensations in you from near or far. But when young this capacity is always anchored in their bodies. You might have a conscious connection on the subtle level, but when they withdraw their attention, you no longer have any sense of contact with them.
However, everything changes once they have had sex. It's like the cocoon has split open and a butterfly emerges. It's every bit as significant a developmental milestone as that. For this girl, who at age 12 set her sights upon me, for an aim that I still am not clear about, some months after she turned 14, she had sex for the first time and the psychic presence that would contact me a couple of times a day metamorphosed. It was larger and more impersonal now. It was like one of Tolkein's Nazgul creatures flying past me, like a cloud or wind at night. I could feel it observing me as it passed. Regrettably, I cried and begged for its attention. My brachial plexus pulsed weakly with love for her. I wanted the girl to stop having sex with the boy. I wanted her to save herself for me. I was beyond apologetic for my psychic failings, if these were the reason for the massive betrayal. Then, out of the blue, at the end of her first week of sex with her partner, as I sat at my desk before heading to work for the day, I felt two hands come down my throat and chest and implant themselves into my abdomen. I became quite literally pregnant with this young lady's astral body.
I had spent the preceding days crying and performing emotional theatrics because I was devestated by her not waiting for me and for her having chosen another mate. It was made all the worse by my having no choice but to be aware of her every elevated sexual and psychic state, as she had formed an etheric thread that connected us. Whether it was her plan all along, I do not know, but at the end of five days she implanted her astral body in me in a manner that felt exactly as if two hands came down either side of my throat, through my chest, and implanting what I believe can best be described as the seed of her astral body in my solar plexus.
While I will speak more about this phenomena later, the astral body grew in power within me. It drew energy from my being to support itself in ways strikingly similar to Kundalini's initial awakening in me. It was clear to me that a natural developmental process had been triggered, or at least hi-jacked. The question for me was: Was it safe? And, given that she was with another man, and I was forced to endure feeling everything she felt with this other person, was it appropriate? For a week I tried to have a very good attitude about it. I thought of the concept of mutual impregnation that seemed poetic, simple, and true: Just as the man impregnates the woman, so it is that at that very same moment, the woman impregnates the man.
The conclusion of a week's consideration of this matter was that I was not ready for this. Further, I had serious doubts about the appropriateness of my having to live the rest of my life vicariously through another person. It was made all the more difficult by her age and my inability to communicate verbally to her in any way. There was no trust, no transparency. I felt used. The "seed" was growing in size and force within me. Soon it would be stronger than me. Her astral body would soon overwhelm my own subtle being. It pulled ever-increasingly upon my attention. Soon all I would be able to think about would be her. The locus of attention for the astral body -- as well as my own -- was some distant point beyond my solar plexus, the physical form that animated the astral body within me. It was the perfect storm with everything working to her favor, not mine. I felt that I would have to do something to save myself if I didn't want to become enslaved to her. But more on this later.
The Storm Above Me
This was one week after the astral body had been implanted in me. I had grown increasingly annoyed with my having to be aware of the source-female's enormous sexual appetite vis-à-vis her level of arousal during every coupling with her boyfriend. It just wasn't right. How could I move on with my life, seeking a female in physical form to be my partner, when I was forcibly enslaved to the role of spiritual surrogate for a selfish young girl? On any given day there would be five hours of nonstop sex where the astral body would pay attention only to that, then when its owner was less preoccupied, spend 20 minutes stimulating my brachial plexus and other areas. The astral body was pulling heavily on my own vital resources and it was growing in power. I felt it to be moving toward a permanent position of first priority within my body, dominating my own consciousness. There was a pull towards the astral body's owner that was becoming exclusive and total. I felt imperiled. It was like every cell and thought within my body and mind were becoming fixated on her. It was intolerable. I wasn't strong enough to handle this invasive presence. I didn't want to end up like the other girl I had met -- the girl in Hawaii -- whose partner had gone from high achieving responsible guy to worthless drug addict for no good reason apart from the very thing I saw forming within me.
To save my mind and the spiritual path I had faithfully treaded the past thirty-three years, I took it upon myself to evict the astral body. I spent a few days angrily holding my solar plexus tight -- and its associated bindu point above the belly button -- refusing the astral body's attempt to send and receive energy from her physical form. The situation climaxed a week after the initial implantation. After an afternoon and early evening where I suppressed the functioning of this presence in my solar plexus, I felt a great surge in energy where the astral body -- still in its nascent form, about the size of a fist -- tried to rise up within me and overcome my will. It was like a baby, this immature pranic form. It stood up within my solar plexus and attempted push its head higher into me. For thirty minutes it was my will versus hers. It was at 8:00pm on a Friday night that I felt the "head" of this astral body break off and disappear or exit through my solar plexus bindu point back to its owner. The following Saturday and Sunday were the only days of peace, with respect to this invasion, that I would know in the following six months.
Where was Kundalini during the week that the astral body had taken up residence within me? That is a good question. Until I review my notes for this time period, I would have to say it was not present. I don't recall any "spiritual" response at all to the invasion of my consciousness by this astral body. For the entire week that the astral body existed within me, there was no Kundalini interaction or recognition at all. But once the girl and I had completed our tug-of-war over the astral projection within me, this absence of communion with my higher self most definitely changed.
In the past, whenever I laid down, put my feet up against the wall with my butt propped up on pillows, closed my eyes and relaxed deeply, Kundalini would wash over my brain and body. Sometimes the washing would be light, other times there would be a sense of weight. It would always be refreshing. Occasionally the weight would be greater and there would be a sense of pulling my consciousness at the center of my brain down into my chest. More rarely, the weight would be sufficient that if my mind gave the "okay," I believe that my consciousness would be grounded permanently into my brachial plexus, if I but allowed the movement of energy to persist just a little bit longer or gain a little more strength. These regular movements of downward energy continued up until a week or so before the astral body's appearance.
Anyway, just minutes after I had given the boot to the astral body, with the sense of deflation of the form and the loss of its head, a raging electrical storm appeared above my crown unlike anything I had experienced before. Massive down drafts of energy came through my crown, making a right angle jump to my pituitary gland, and then plunging into my brachial plexus. These were spontaneous, massive lightning bolts of energy that sought to ground my consciousness into my chest.
Some of these lightning bolts were about three times the force of my ordinary consciousness, while others were ten times or more. Though they were extremely powerful, and highly unusual, they were completely responsive to the commands of my pituitary gland. My self-consciousness at the center of my brain would not give way or transcend unless my pituitary gland gave permission. The only thing comparable that I had experienced was a night in November 1994 where every cell in my body was pinned down by a hundred-fold force of consciousness, but was rebuffed by my mind at least twice (the grounding energy came again, though less powerfully, in following nights). At that time, the experience was novel, and I wanted to inspect it a little longer before taking the leap from my limited state. Also, I had torn a ligament in my knee that very same evening, and I didn't want to chance an energy overload without the ability to go for extended hikes to ground the energy whenever I deemed them necessary.
Following the astral body's active principle's departure, the downdrafts from the electrical storm persisted for a few hours and again into the next night. It wasn't till Sunday morning that the etheric storm had passed. I thought at the time, "It's Sunday morning. The astral body is finally dead."
Given the storm's proximity to the eviction, my first thought was that Kundalini sought to rescue the astral body. My logic was that for some reason, I needed a greater force of consciousness to resurrect the astral body and make its presence within me sustainable. I had felt, quite rightly, overwhelmed by it. The two of us could not coexist within the same body, at least not without a severe loss of agency on my part.
With seven months now having passed, I don't know what would have happened had I allowed Kundalini to ground my consciousness into my heart. Would the astral body have been brought back to life? I don't know for sure. At this point, if I were forced to make an informed guess, I would say, "No." I believe that a woman of such subtle capacity has one chance with her astral body. When the receiving person dies, or the astral body dies, then that capacity cannot be recreated.
And if I were to guess again as to why Kundalini made such an awesome display that night, my informed opinion, given what I have been through, is that it was to save me, not the astral body. Kundalini knew what was in store for me as soon as the astral body left. The sense of loss, rage, and desire for vengeance felt by the girl from whom it came I could not possibly have anticipated. I believe that the only way for me to permanently evict this psychic intruder would have been for me to possess a force of consciousness at least three times greater than my own comparatively feeble one. And with the astral body gone, and along with it my conscious connection to her, it was during the next day or two following the eviction that would have been the only time I could have invited a heart centered enlightenment from Kundalini without the complications that arise from an unwanted consciousness sharing your body that actively seeks to prevent your spiritual advancement.
So it was that on Monday, three days after the departure of the astral body, that an energy came back to inhabit me, flooding me that morning via the solar plexus bindu point, following all the nerves that the astral body had patterned itself upon. But it was different this time. It strained me. It burned me. It drained me. It actively interfered with my mind and heart throughout the day. It was the succubus.
The Succubus Kriya
Kundalini was largely dormant in me for a good two months following the conversion of the astral body to its succubus form. I went through a lot of hardship during this time, feeling very alone spiritually in my contest with this unwanted presence over the orientation of my soul. Would I be dedicated to God, or conscripted to her, that was the question.
This invasive presence seemed to present a block or a deterrent to Kundalini's ongoing blessing of me. No higher energies would wash over me or bring me to the edge of enlightenment when I relaxed deeply, something that was nearly a daily experience for me prior to my being invaded. I felt as though my mind were thrust into a realm devoid of spirit, with a negative presence watching over me at all times to ensure that if any communication from God were to make it to me, that I would not be allowed to delve deeply into the communion that was offered.
At the end of these two months came a particularly horrific week. Remember that this is a young girl, new to the game of male domination, and so she would try new "moves" within me with disruption and subversion being her principle aim. It was perhaps on a Tuesday that she had set upon "drilling" into my conscious mind. I am not sure what the mechanics of this were, but suffice it to say that one's self-consciousness is defined as an energetic, spherical "lock" that protects and guards your limited state from wider, more powerful energies around you. This area is not to be messed with, unless you have prepared a great deal and you have God at your back. I have described it elsewhere as a spherical area about the size of a golf ball at the center of your brain. In any event, the succubus began boring into it. There was a tiny drill sound, perhaps it was a vibration, and the pressure of her conscious intention. I have a strong self-conscious mind. I had been very difficult to master, despite her nearly continuous unwanted actions within me. So this I believe was her effort to finally break me. It was terrifying, as day and night went by with various pains and pressure disturbances being registered by my inner ears. I could sense her consciousness carving its way more deeply into my active self-consciousness -- my holy of holies.
It was two days later, early in the morning, at my wit's end, that I stood up, sweaty from another night of tortures, and began to shake myself vigorously. I brought my arms up, parallel with the ground, elbows bent, and began to shake them back and forth, causing my torso to move rapidly from one side to the other. The movement caused a serious vibration effect within my body, with all my organs and muscle groups being jarred violently. I would also shake my head back and forth or from side to side, holding my neck muscles tight, but causing my brain matter to move violently back and forth within my skull. None of this caused any pain to me, but it did disrupt, at least for fifteen minutes or so at a time, the etheric connection the succubus had created between my body and hers.
A half hour later, Kundalini was awakened in me, and for two days blasted sound in my ears (a protective measure) and placed blockages and disrupters over everything that the succubus had established. So happy to have some spiritual help finally, I called my whole body and head shaking, via the rapid swinging of my arms, the "succubus kriya." A kriya is a physical yogic movement intended to bring about an energetic or spiritual shift.
For the next four-to-eight weeks I engaged this whole body shaking on average one time per hour during the day, and periodically at night when the succubus' activity was particularly noisome. Sadly (as of June 2019), I've never had a response from Kundalini as strong as those first two days. While it was a powerful etheric immune system response, it was not strong enough to evict the succubus from her hold on the interior of my heart. My brain and brachial plexus roiled under Kundalini's influence. Whenever this happened, the succubus node (which moved about freely within me), would retreat to the interior of my heart muscle until the vibrations ceased.
It is my belief that the only way for me to be free of this parasitic invasion is for the locus of my consciousness to be grounded in my heart chakra. This will happen, I believe, when I have an overwhelming amount of spiritual force available to me. I don't think I can achieve this high vibrational state, where I am able to invite a sufficiently powerful descent of Shakti, from my location here in California, so close to the source of the blight. With the etheric energies available to her, she is skilled in causing pain or temporary higher functioning numbing to every nerve plexus and gland within me that is yoked to this process. She is far less able to dominate me when I am much farther away. Logistically, a lot is involved in my relocating several thousand miles away: work Visa, placing possessions on a cargo ship, closing the door on my current employment, taking care of debts and other responsibilities, and so forth. For my own physical and spiritual health, I hope my relocation occurs sooner rather than later.
Brain Kriya
During a recent ten-day vacation in Hawaii I attempted directly to engage Kundalini in the ouster of the succubus implant. I had mixed results that I will discuss elsewhere in more detail. There were a couple of kriyas that arose spontaneously in the early morning hours.
Energy gathered throughout my brain. It was most intense at the pituitary gland. My head leaned forward and a beam of psychic energy pummeled my brachial plexus, causing the whole chest region to roil like it was a kettle of boiling water. There was a deep churning and vibration throughout the region that persisted for 15-30 seconds. The entire contents of my brain roiled as well. Unfortunately, as with other cleansing moves by Kundalini over the past several months, the roiling was not nearly powerful enough to dislodge the implant. The moderate vibrations had little effect on the heart muscle itself, nor especially the implant that lay burrowed deeply within.
Another night a similar intensification occurred. I was laying on my side in a near sleep state. There was a concentration of energy in my brain that was followed by an involuntary stiffening and straightening of my back. My back arched stiffly as my neck muscles contracted and vibrated, causing a stiffening and contraction sensation that ran up through the medulla and cerebellum areas of the brain. I could feel a tightening effect upon these areas caused by what I perceived to be muscle or tendon tissue that I was able to control that was in between the skull and the brain matter. The more I shook my head back and forth and side to side, the more I could feel the muscle I was tightening, and the higher up my brain I felt the contractions go. The highest I felt was up over the bottom part of the brain, going slightly above the point where the skull contours up toward the crown. After a good thirty seconds of this "brain-clearing" kriya, the noise and pressure introduced by the implant in my left ear disappeared, and either my own soul sound or the Kundalini cleansing sound was able to take control of the left ear canal again.
The above two movements I refer to as kriyas because they were largely involuntary in nature. Yes, some active participation on my part was required, but the actions themselves were guided by Spirit or Kundalini.
Kriyas: Spontaneous Yogic Processes
Kundalini teacher, Igor Kufayev has a page on kriyas (*) and other "spontaneous yogic processes." As of July, 2019 I believe Kufayev to be a reliable source of information on spiritual matters. I recommend your reading more pages at his website as well as viewing several of his videos where he discusses Kundalini in a comprehensible and helpful manner. If you feel moved to do so, you may sit with him during one of his many 3-day and 7-day retreats (that he calls "immersions") that he offers to the public. I am mulling over this opportunity myself, as I was reading of the psychic attacks the yoga expert Georg Feurstein endured from his former guru that he recounts in his introduction to "The Yoga Tradition." It was only after the intervention of another spiritual teacher that Feuerstein was able to break free of the psychic invasion. In any event, regarding kriyas, here is a nice quote from Kufayev:
"The phenomenon of kriyas remains a relatively unexplored subject in today's world of spirituality, yet is a profoundly fascinating one. We refer to them as spontaneous, involuntary movements such as mudras (symbolic gestures), bandhas (body locks), asanas (postures), pranayamas (yogic breathing), vocalizations, and more. There are physical kriyas, emotional and mental kriyas. They arise in meditation as the result of the stirring, awakening, and unfolding of Kundalini Shakti, the divine cosmic energy. Kriyas are a by-product of greater activity of pranic flow through the subtler pathways of energy ushered by the activation of Life Force. It is the sacred energy of Grace, bestowed through the power of transmission, which conducts the process of awakening within each of us.... So how can there be awakening without kriyas? We have to speak about kriyas. There is no yoga without Kundalini, because that is the chief deity of yoga."
Tapping My Heart During Orgasm
There are many reasons why I want the succubus out of my body. One has to do with the many ways she drains and damages my heart. The most galling and painful of these attacks occurs during sex.
There was a month in particular where the succubus' owner was shacked up with her boyfriend. Sex would begin at about 4:30am. There would be six to ten couplings and male climaxes between this time and when they set off to school at 6:30am.
Of course, none of this would or should be any of my business. But there was the persistent problem of the psychic connection she maintained between us, and then of course the subtle projection and anchor of hers that was inside me at all times. When her chest and solar plexus heated up during arousal, so would mine. Then there was the pressure and ringing in my ears that would grow more intense as her energetic state heightened. I could sense when she orgasmed -- which did not happen often -- on account of the massively more intense sensations I had throughout my nervous system. To be honest, I am not sure whether she orgasmed at those times. All I was aware of was the intensity of the arousal in general. So I am assuming.
To some small extent I could accept this. There is a subtle connection between us. I get it. But I did feel used. She was getting off with this guy in both her body and mine. If they were carrying on into the night, I could hardly sleep due to all the stimulation.
But this is the bridge too far. She chose a peer for her partner. Fine. He gave her sex on demand whenever and however she demanded it. Good for her. But it wasn't enough. Her astral body -- I mean, its evil step sister, the succubus remnant -- wanted me to contribute to her sexual feast, a feast, mind you, that I was not invited to. I was a voyeur viewing these activities from a distance, secondhand, yet I was expected to pay a participant's fee. Because of the boy's incompleteness spiritually (give him a break, he was just 14), when he orgasmed, there was no subtle dimension for her to feed on. There was a special something missing from the exchange and drawdown. I don't know if this is always the case, or whether it occurs in all people, but the heart muscle contracts during orgasm. It gives up a small amount of its essence and energy. So it was that whenever they coupled and he climaxed, she would compel my heart muscle to deliver its essence at the very same time. It would be a small, sharp stab at the center of the heart, with an intensity that would vary. Sometimes it would be 2-3-4-5 small stabs in quick succession. My heart would be left feeling so bruised that sometimes I could not lay on my left side without pain. This was the very definition of spiritual rape -- and I was the victim.
I was beside myself. The level of insult was beyond belief. Given my high estimation of myself, I was speechless. Not only did this girl have the gall to lead me on with her subtle antics the past two years, but now, when the rubber meets the road, the only thing I am good for is delivering to her the spiritual substance that is lacking in her partner? Given our forty-year age difference, should I have expected anything different? Call me stupid and naïve, but the answer is, most definitely, "Yes." I thought to myself, "You can do what you want with your body, but leave my soul out of it!" Given the daily pain my heart was going through, I thought for sure that my life expectancy was being shortened. There is no way it couldn't be. I looked at the mirror, observing the bags under my eyes after she pulled so strongly from my etheric reserves. She had no business residing in my heart muscle, the holy of holies, as it was. I was triply fucked. Having my soul placed on tap for an abusive succubus to draw from to get a bigger kick from her sexual conquests? Had my destined spiritual role in the world been reduced to this? To be held captive and abused by a selfish and cruel fourteen-year-old? Are you kidding me?!
I would tighten my solar plexus, steel my mind, engage all sorts of defensive moves in an effort to stop or weaken her attacks on my heart. But she was in full control of my etheric body. Without Kundalini's active engagement, she was about three times more powerful than me. It was not until I flew to Hawaii, and further yet to Australia, that her ability to drain my heart muscle of its spiritual energy weakened. A spiritual aspirant in an earlier, pre-flight age, would not have been so fortunate.
Michoacan, Kailua-Kona, and Perth vs The Succubus
When this girl was thirteen years old, she went to visit family in Michoacan, Mexico. This is about 1300 miles from Coachella Valley, California. What I noted was that the regular psychic contacts she initiated were much more dim, perhaps one-fourth as strong or palpable to me. So when I reciprocated, it took much more effort on my part to have the psychic burst of energy that was required to be received on her end. This was a year before she implanted the astral body in me.
I am very happy that I noted the energy change as a function of distance, as it would prove valuable in my rescue a year later when faced with very negative energies aimed to kill me or drive me mad a year later.
I'll describe the following in more detail under the appropriate heading. What came to inhabit me a couple of days after I had evicted the astral body was a conscious principle about an inch in diameter that moved within my body at will. It was directly linked to the female from which it came. It was able to communicate in real time my every mood and disposition. It was like a homing beacon within me.
The other half of the succubus "control" mechanism apart from this animating presence is the ability to send from a distance etheric energy into the body of the person it seeks to inhabit via the solar plexus of that person. Without access to what I call "etheric reinforcements," the small conscious presence within the host is much more limited in terms of what it can accomplish within you.
Perhaps a month into my role as host to the succubus, this animating principle took up residence inside my heart muscle. I noticed that I felt more tired throughout the day. Everything in my life became more effortful. This animating principle is perhaps what remains when the astral body dies, or it is what can be resurrected by the succubus if she determines that the astral body was killed through foul play.
The two months following the implantation of this animating principle were marked by numerous psychic dramas and battles. Some I thought or hoped were leading to something positive. For example, after a good week of her effort to stimulate my brachial plexus, I began to have feelings in my thymus gland again, an area that had grown largely dormant due to all the dental work I had received (with anesthetics dampening all feeling in the area). But in retrospect, I think this was just to get me to invite her more deeply into my being so as to accomplish a more nefarious ends.
So it was that this conscious principle, aided by etheric reinforcements, was actually boring or grinding its way into my very own self-consciousness at the center of my brain. I've described this elsewhere. but basically it is an energetic bubble about the size of a golf ball at the brain's center. It is protected by an energetic lock or envelope that can only be transcended by the descending force (Grace), or what I surmise to be a variety of highly disturbing events (drug overdose, psychological trauma, succubus invasion, etc.). So it was that I was at a meeting one day at school. I was perspiring and anxious. I sensed an ongoing drilling action, with various sharp pains shooting across my temples. This was going on for a few days. As she drilled deeper, I felt it louder in my ears, and there were deepening barometric pressure sensations that became increasingly alarming.
I thought to myself, "What kind of madness would ensue were I to share my active self-consciousness with a malicious being three times more powerful than me bent upon my destruction?" I figured I would become deeply schizophrenic, if I didn't die altogether.
So it was on a Friday night, in the space of just a few hours, that I booked a flight to Hawaii the following morning. It was the only remedy that I thought might work: Put more distance between me and her.
I was in pretty bad shape when I arrived in Hawaii. She had unleashed a storm within me. It took several days before I felt more hopeful. But I did note that her ability to marshal additional energies to support the conscious implant was only about one-fourth as powerful as when I was in California, some 2600 miles distant. But after two weeks in Hawaii, noting that the invasive conscious principle seemed to be self-sustaining within my heart muscle, and that I was nowhere near being able to evict that principle from my heart once and for all, I decided to see what adding another 7,000 miles distance would do.
So it was that I flew to Perth, Australia for a two-week stay. I hadn't been out of the United States in thirty-five years. Luckily, I had brought my passport with me and had kept it current. I discovered that the etheric energies available to undermine me were one-fourth as strong as in Hawaii, or one-sixteenth as powerful as within a few miles of the physical source.
Though I had no trouble sleeping, writing, or finding the energy to exercise, Perth was a lot less vitality-enhancing than Hawaii. It didn't have the organic foods, warmth, tropical fruits, warm ocean water, and steep mountains to hike that Hawaii has. The consciousness of the people was diminished, in my opinion, which I attributed to their seeing themselves as "subjects" of a predatory ruling class. I judged that I would not be able to achieve sufficient psychic "lift" to break free of the conscious principle from this location. I continue to believe that achieving a heart centered consciousness through the blessing of Kundalini's descending force, is the only way for me to achieve lasting freedom from this parasitic blight within me.
To be fair, Perth, being in the southern hemisphere, was approaching winter. The sun was low on the horizon, sending less cosmic rays to the area. Perhaps I would have sensed greater vitality during the summer. If I go back, I would like to travel northward in Western Australia, or perhaps visit the Cairns area on the east coast, which is also closer to the equator. The people were generally agreeable, but as I indicated, a bit too "domesticated" for my taste. Americans might be fat and rude by comparison, but our spirits are more free. That is just my take.
At the time of this writing (June 2019), I am back in California, dealing with all sorts of energetic problems. My travel was helpful, in that it disrupted a virulent takeover of my consciousness. Now that I have returned, the energy at its disposal appears to have diminished. But its focus now is upon reducing Kundalini's presence within me (which is another subject), but also overstimulating my medulla area, making it impossible to sleep without medication. While I'd rather be in Hawaii, California is where my home and work are, and my mother needs my help for projects at the house and some surgeries she has planned. Also, were I to return to Hawaii, where I worked for the first fifteen years of my career, I'd take a $40,000 pay cut. The pay is miserable in Hawaii, with the cost of living far higher. I have a lot of debts to pay down, and I wouldn't be able to do that on Hawaii's salary. But when I find myself unable to sleep, or my consciousness at risk, I think, "What is more important: Money or your mental and spiritual well-being?"
Coincidence vs Fate
I've never put much stock in synchronicities or fate. The future, in my opinion, is always unknown. The future emerges from the present moment -- and the millions of variable and irreproducible data points that feed into that moment. People's belief in their being able to control the future, or that their horoscope controls it in a granular way, or that some agency like God or "the Fates" control it, is so much mind-based wish fulfillment. Believing in such things limits one's ability to be present fully in the "now," and to take responsibility fully for one's actions.
Nevertheless, I've often wondered about the unusual timing of two events at critical junctures on my spiritual path. One was my tearing my left knee's anterior cruciate ligament in a slip on a mossy rock in the dark at Manoa Falls on O'ahu the very same night that at 4am Kundalini descended upon every cell in my body like a Mack truck dumping its thousand-pound payload upon me. If it weren't for the injury, and my concern that having too much energy in me without being able to hike could be life threatening, I might have given the "go" signal; and then, who knows whether I would have survived the possible overload of EMF awareness burning my consciousness from the inside out? With my being fully and permanently open at the heart, what defenses, if any, would I have had? Maybe the ACL tear and swollen knee were a blessing in disguise.
Similarly, it was at the very same time that the astral body and succubus made their appearances within me that I was painting my room with Geovital's graphite- and carbon-based shielding paint. I fully expected to open the throttle on my willingness to conduct more energy, and the potential for heart-centered consciousness attending that, with my finally having a protected space within which I could sleep and write. The all-metal Faraday cage I had used for the past eight months was a disaster. But the metal-free Geovital products had the potential finally to grant me safety to pursue God, with recourse to a protected place to regenerate each day. But the energetic blight that now inhabits me has, for the most part, put a kibosh on all of that. It seems that my path is locked in place until this entity, that is extraordinarily fearful of heightened energies that surpass its own, departs. As to when that will happen, and whether Spirit will play a role in that, I cannot say.
So, although I find this barely conceivable, perhaps, just perhaps, my being plagued by a succubus is better than the alternative, being burned alive by a vastly increased sensitivity to manmade EMF. Regardless, it is my plan to be clear of this invasion as soon as possible. The way it attacks Kundalini every time K shows up is intolerable.
Trazodone vs The Succubus
I made it 54 years without filling a prescription for anything. I despise the pharmaceutical industry. They have destroyed countless minds. I've read that in the pyramid of control over society, the drug industry is at the top, even above banking. Big Pharma delights in disrupting and modifying that which God has created.
When meeting with a doctor, which is a rare event for me, I tell him or her, "I am here for the information. Please share with me your recommendations. But I reserve the right to make the final decision on what course of treatment I take or choose not take." If a doctor doesn't like hearing what I have to say, then I find a new doctor. It is important to work with people who respect your authority over your own body and mind. White lab coats are no replacement for God.
I've never taken pain medication, despite numerous dental surgeries. I have five dental implants. I do take the local anesthetic during the procedure (not that I am happy or proud of that). But I've never taken pills to help me with post-procedure pain, the flu, constipation, hyperactivity, insomnia, depression, et cetera. I don't take drugs to alter the way I feel, ever. If you are experiencing something, nine times out of ten, you are doing so for a reason. You need to listen to your body's feelings, not mask them.
I wrestled with Kundalini for 34 years, never asking for drugs or special accommodations to assist me. This is because Kundalini, though an infinite energy source, is highly intelligent and responsive. Kundalini has the capacity to respond to feedback from the pituitary gland immediately. Kundalini does not want to fry or imbalance your energetic system. So, when you apply your mind and body in ways that seek to alter Kundalini's course -- mostly, just its intensity level -- it does respond. It might take some time, but it responds. Kundalini wants you to succeed, even amidst the various compromises you have been forced to accept given your circumstances in life. So, my experience with an "externally directed," living subtle energy force had always been benign.
With the introduction of the succubus -- a subtle parasite -- however, this changed. Not only was the etheric energy at its disposal more powerful than that which was native to my own body (I would say by a factor of three), but it did not have what was best for me or my spiritual path at heart. The succubus, though a pale imitation of Kundalini herself, wanted me to relate to it as God. It sought to create all sorts of internal fireworks in me to leave me in a state of awe and worship. But I would never take the bait. I had seen much more, and with far greater intensity, from the true source herself. This irritated the succubus to no end.
We will fast forward to my return from Hawaii in late May 2019. The succubus' dominion over me had weakened. It no longer had the leverage to attack my self-consciousness directly, as it had two months before. So, sawing through the energetic wall encapsulating my limited consciousness was no longer its intention. But it sought other means to weaken me. The succubus went after my ability to sleep. If you can't destroy someone through superiority of force, preventing their access to sleep provides an excellent alternative.
I had never thought about this before, because I had never had difficulty sleeping. Yes, there were times when Kundalini had been overly excited within me, but it was usually my own fault, and the remedy of some combination of food, sex, and exercise always grounded my state sufficiently for sleep. I had never before gone six hours of trying to sleep and not being able to. I didn't know what sleeplessness could be like. Well, I found out.
Sleeplessness is one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. I would put it right up there with an overwrought Kundalini that won't settle down. But Kundalini always calmed. It was part of me. It was meant to be with me. It didn't mean to drive me mad. But what if you know that the sleeplessness is caused by an external agent that seeks to harm you? How would that make the sleeplessness and another night of dealing with its energetic attacks make you feel? Would your feeling powerless to prevent it make the ensuing fear and sleeplessness that much worse? Yes, it would!
This is late May, early June 2019. The subtle blight was able to use my heart's energy against me. There would be spikes of energy that would be sent from the heart to the spinal cord behind it. From there it would spike up again until it lodged in the medulla and cerebellum areas, nestled at the base of my skull. After 20 or more such attacks, the base of my head would be stiff with excess energy. I might engage my "succubus mudra" and shake my head and body violently to and fro, but unlike before, the stiffness would not abate. The succubus could reinforce the desired tension in this area at will, using the energy accumulated within my heart to accomplish this task.
The day this energetic attack began I didn't understand what was going on. I would rub the back of my head once in a while. It was annoying. I had yet to identify its purpose. It was only when I went to bed that night that I discovered why all this attention had been placed on the medulla. In terms of the scale of the energy, it was minor compared to other movements I had experienced with Kundalini. But this was a sustained effort to overwhelm the load bearing capacity of a small area of my brain. This area, to my dismay, is like the mind's Achilles' Heel. When it comes to sleep, it is the brain's weak point.
This first day this problem appeared in me, I tossed and turned all night long. Every thirty to sixty minutes I would glance over at my clock to see how much time had passed. By 1:00am or so I had begun to panic. No matter what position I assumed, the tension in my brain would not ease. My frontal lobes exerted a calming influence over my entire brain. Nearly always, this would be sufficient. If my entire body was agitated, then food, sex, and exercise would be employed. But this night, my body and mind were relaxed, except for this small part of my brain that would not be calmed no matter what I did. The succubus felt my panic, and it energized her. Whenever the base of my brain would be become even slightly more relaxed, another tendril of energy would be sent up to re-excite it. The succubus' focus was this exact spot, time after time.
I went to school the next morning exhausted. For the most part, I can go one night without sleep. I will be frazzled, but if I know that sleep awaits me later that day, with as early a bedtime as I can manage, then I will get through the day's challenges. Maybe I won't exercise like I normally do, but I will accomplish the essential tasks of my employment and personal duties with an optimism, though a bit urgently expressed, that my thirst for sleep and renewal will be met in short order.
But this wasn't the case the following day. I had little optimism. The unwanted presence still dwelled in me, and it was entirely up to her/it as to whether I would be able to sleep that night. I told my mother that I'd be packing my bags for Hawaii, as I had had no problems in Hawaii sleeping. Yes, I might be throwing my career down the drain. Maybe I'd become a van driver for one of the car rental services at the Kailua-Kona airport. Or maybe I'd go back to teaching for the State of Hawaii. The main thing is that I'd be free, or if not that, free enough to retain my sanity and live to fight another day.
My mother told me that I should at least try the sleep medications that several of her friends took on a regular basis. With bags half-packed, and the school year still not concluded, I grudgingly agreed to try the medication. My mother went to a friend's house and came back with three 50mg Trazodone tablets.
Two hours after taking two tablets, nothing had happened. I was still awake. I took a third and in the next hour I became so dizzy that I could barely walk to the bathroom without stumbling against walls. In fact, I did have to brace myself against some of the furniture in order to walk without stumbling. As this dizziness persisted, I felt five or six areas of my brain become lighter. It was like there had been a thick layer of etheric contamination in a particular location. I felt that control fracture and then pieces of that control lift off me. It was as if the conscious mind of the succubus, bent on dominating me, could no longer maintain the connection necessary for my control in the presence of the Trazodone. The areas of lightening were felt mostly along the perimeter of the interior of my skull. Piece after piece, the areas under her conscious pressure or control, lifted. I actually felt an etheric mud lift off me. It was like a heavy, obscuring presence evaporating like mist under a shining sun.
This etheric release, triggered by the Trazodone tablets, brought with it an immediate relaxation to my entire mind. With the nerves of my mind no longer subject to a hostile excitation, I was able to sleep. Three or four hours later, the dizziness had subsided, but the succubus' ability to exert control over my nervous system had diminished significantly.
The next day, though I did not like the idea of my being under the influence of a medication, I had more energy than usual. The succubus' hold had been diminished, which meant that I was more in control of my own body and the energy flows within it. Still, by the afternoon, the succubus was back to her subtle machinations such that tension was again building at the base of my skull. Without hesitation I took two Trazodone tablets in the evening. I slept well. Not as well as before the succubus' appearance in my life, but well enough to carry on with my life another day.
It came as a great relief that I had found a medication that proved effective. Had I known this, maybe I could have saved the $6,000 or more that I had spent on my travel to Hawaii and Australia during the preceding month. But then, I would have still wanted to know about my non-drug-dependent options, foremost among them, placing distance between me and the physical source of the etheric pathogen.
The day following my first taking Trazodone, I obtained a prescription for it of my own. Apparently, the drug's primary use is for depression, but many are prescribed it for help with sleep. It is noted to have among the least number of harmful side effects, as well as not being addictive. Compared to other sleep medications in use at this time, Trazodone is easy to withdraw from.
I used the drug five or six times in the coming week, at which point, the succubus seemed to lose interest in overstimulating my brain. It apparently was a lot of work on her end to do so; and with the drug's interference, why bother?
A note on how Trazodone effects the nervous system. After a week or so the dizziness reduced. I dropped down to just one 50mg tab instead of two or three. It does give me a bit of an upset stomach. When I swallow the pill, it seems to lodge somewhere along my throat and release its contents there. It doesn't burn, but it is an uncomfortable sensation. Within thirty minutes I feel a pulling downward on my frontal lobes. It is like their activity is forcibly shut down, regardless of the state of tension at the medulla area. The sleep itself induces a relaxation, to some degree, of the medulla and cerebellum areas, whose overstimulation can create an impediment to sleep. One time I did feel pain in the frontal lobes as the Trazodone took effect. I don't recommend taking this pill unless absolutely necessary. But if you need sleep at any cost, Trazodone just may do the trick.
As I write this in early July, my having Trazodone at my bedside is like carrying a firearm when I hike. It is something that I rarely need, but I derive peace of mind knowing that if a problem emerges -- e.g., mountain lion or succubus -- I can fire the weapon -- take the pill -- knowing that the problem will be dealt with.
A few times I have taken Trazodone, not because my ability to sleep was threatened, but because the succubus was hard at work causing pain to my crown, the nipple area on the right side of my chest, causing shocks to my ear canals, attacking my testicles, or harming my thymus gland, among the many other negative hobbies she has for passing time inside me. My experience is that the effects of these subtle attacks are reversible with time. Numbing and the impairment of energy-conduction will return to feeling and energy conduction within a week or two. She has to return to these areas almost daily to reapply her etheric cloak of spiritual ignorance. It is a lot of work. I think she would prefer that I not take the Trazodone, because it interferes with her other malicious activities. For the most part she just retreats to the heart muscle and leaves me entirely alone when I am under the influence of psychotropics.
Some web resources describe Trazodone as acting as a central nervous system depressant. That is, it slows or weakens the CNS. This is a good thing if you are having difficulty sleeping. But in general, any drug that has such an effect on your nervous system should be viewed with great skepticism. You should approach a drug like this with caution, if at all.
Can a pharmaceutical drug permanently damage your capacity to realize spirit? I think it can, depending on dosage and drug type. Are you willing to take the risk, knowing the intentions of the controlling interests of Satan-worshipping families like the Rotchschilds and Rockefellers? If you had a choice in the matter, would you let such people within 100,000 miles of your connection to the Divine?
Unlike the horrific effects of taking hydroxyzine for sleep (to be discussed separately), Trazodone did not appear to have much of an impact on Kundalini's involvement within me. If Kundalini was in the midst of what I term its "etheric immune system response," the Trazodone presented no obvious damaging effect on it. What I mean by immune system response is generally a loud ringing in my ears to displace the succubus' discordant noises or, as in the past six weeks, its dull throb that imitates my heartbeat. Also, Kundalini will step in and place blocks around the base of my spine, behind the heart along the spine, or near the medulla area on the right side to weaken the succubus' control of the left ear. These blocks are usually weak relative to the etheric strength of the succubus, but slowly, over time, with no further invitations from me for subtle entanglement, and with occasional distant travels that disrupt the succubus' control mechanism within me, the balance of power is shifting.
Still, it is never safe to assume that Kundalini's activity within you is immune to your abuse of it. Whether you are beating your wife, kicking your dog, lying to your kids, or taking mind-altering drugs, it is unwise to assume that any of these activities will not have a deleterious effect on your spiritual progress. Kundalini wants to support passionate, good, healthful, ethical people. If you no longer reliably demonstrate such qualities, your days of Kundalini sponsorship will be numbered.
So, it is with great wariness that I maintain my bottle of a month's supply of Trazodone. My plan is to take it only when necessary -- hopefully less than one time per week. And even then, I will always reflect on the price I may be paying. I will ask myself, "Is making $40,000 extra per year, but subjecting my etheric body to a much greater malignant energetic force, and having to take the CNS-damaging Trazodone to mediate this succubus interference, worth it?"
The Astral Body Implant and the Enlightened Male
Most men are victimized by the astral body. It consumes them. Their own limited self-consciousness is overcome by it. Men lose their self-determination, and in that, their spark of divinity. But there may be another outcome that is possible.
For the week that the astral body dwelled within me, I cried a great deal. Not only did it's owner continue to have sex five or more hours per day, with me having to feel its orgiastic resonance during these times, but it was clearly both gaining strength and growing in size within me. It had patterned itself over a broad swath of my nervous system. In time, what was a little baby in my solar plexus would become a full-grown woman in subtle form, attached to me, a mirror of me. That was what I believe was the developmental process that had been initiated. But in this nascent stage, I was already overwhelmed by its presence, with more of my attention being commanded by it as each day passed.
My intuition told me that it was a matter of my being too weak to handle the increased energetic load on my being. Had I been enlightened to a sufficient degree, in terms of Shakti conduction, I might have been able to ground the astral body, provide it with the subtle nourishment it needed, yet remain fully committed to my own spiritual process and the liberation of those around me.
It was the night that I had evicted the astral body. Kundalini was sending lightning bolts down through my crown, pituitary gland, and chest, each one sufficient to ground my limited consciousness into my heart and brachial plexus. The ones that were strongest, on the order of ten-times the force of my own consciousness, caused immediate erections. This is a critically important detail. The astral body, anchored in my solar plexus, was an overwhelming pull on my testicles, pulling with it my brain's attention down through my spine and into the gonad area. My mind and sexual functioning were mired in it/her. My thoughts were depressed and my sexual functioning did not possess a higher orientation. However, with this powerful descent of Kundalini, I had sufficient energy to be sexually engaged but not limited by that engagement. My sexual energy was immediately pulled UP through the spine to the brain and downward into my chest, to form a complete, regenerative circuit, with the astral body's center of gravity being pulled UP from the solar plexus and into the chest. Yes, the girl still got the sexual energy she wanted, but the energy was elevated and liberated through our mutual energetic release as love via the brachial plexus. This, at least, is the scenario described by my intuition that evening.
My sense is that, had I allowed Kundalini to do what it intended to do, I would have shared my brachial plexus with the astral body. The love vibration created there is far more ennobling and freeing than the mere repetition of sexual orgasm. She would have been freed of her sexual addiction -- discovering something more profound to focus on, at least some of the time.
Very interestingly, the astral body was, in its own way, entirely naïve, child-like, and subservient to me. While the succubus is immensely preoccupied with my brain and central nervous system, hoping for a complete takeover of my being, and not trusting me at all, the astral body fully trusted me. All it wanted was love and sex. It couldn't have cared less what my mind was up to.
So it was that, at the time, I believed that the true purpose of a woman of this sort was to achieve enlightenment vicariously, via subtle attachment to a man of the highest order, via a truly world-body-emotion embracing path of liberation made possible by a heart-centered consciousness that bypassed the mind altogether. Indeed, as we know, the mind typically is an enormous obstacle.
But such an outcome would only be possible if the astral body were implanted in a man equal to the task. Sadly, I don't think there is a man on the planet at this time capable of such a feat. I came close, but close most definitely was not good enough.
The two women I have known who possessed astral bodies were calculating, serious, rather unhappy people. I wonder if their demeanor would have changed if they had found an appropriate mate?
Also, while I can criticize myself for not being able to provide an appropriate home for the astral body, I am left with a couple of unresolved doubts. One is, how acceptable is it for a woman to have a physical partner be one person, and the host for her astral body be another? Isn't a discordance set up there? I mean, why would I, as the host, want to share my body and spirit with someone whose body is pledged to another? I was mistrustful of that from the get-go. I felt used. In my mind, I would rather be alone on my path, a path shared with God, than share it with someone who cannot be faithful to me in a wholistic sense.
Also, due to this being an underage girl, I was not able to communicate with her at all about any of this. We have had passing brief conversations at school. But given the audiences involved and the lack of appropriateness due to age and positional differences, I simply could not pose any serious questions. Having an astral body within you, whose owner you are not allowed to communicate with as a matter of law, is quite a difficult, and I would say impossible situation to find yourself in. It is on account of this fact that I find her subtle actions both dangerous and exploitative.
Also, if I was succumbing to the force of this presence, why didn't Kundalini come to my and our rescue while the astral body was still functioning within me? That I received no spiritual assistance at that time leads me to believe that God had determined that this was an invasion to be rejected rather than a blessing to be supported.
My final message in this section is to future male aspirants who come after me. If you want Shakti in human form, you better be very careful about who you invite into your life. I had no idea that such a psychic invasion was possible. I thought what I had heard about soul possession and soul destruction was merely old-wives' tales mumbo jumbo. I can say, most emphatically, that it is not.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of a psychic storm one night, as a beautiful, energetically precocious girl dials in on your subtle "number," BEWARE. While I don't know whether I had a real choice in the matter, I certainly invited her in when she was at my door step, psychically, each night. If you are not spiritually grounded in your brachial plexus, a veritable walking Ramana Maharshi, then my recommendation to you is that you do everything you can to block and disinvite such a girl into your being. As for me, I was most definitely unprepared. I have stepped in it, quite literally, with a psychic bear trap having dug its teeth deep into my leg.
Having said that, it would be great someday for someone to report on whether a shared enlightenment is possible. It might be possible. And how cool would that be? But it could just as easily be an unattainable illusion that came to me as a hunch one day.
Why I Am Aware Of This And Other Guys Aren't
Folks, this is why you are lucky: I am conscious on the same level as these astral actresses are. I can feel everything they are up to. Maybe not in the same way as succubi do, but I sense what they sense nonetheless. This is because I've been blessed and transformed by Kundalini, the Goddess they refuse to submit to, but know very well Who and What She Is.
Had I not begged for divine intervention in 1985, some 34 years ago, these sensitivities would not have developed in me. The fourteen-year-old subtle temptress and dominatrix inside me can do nothing within my physical and subtle body that I cannot feel. Except, unfortunately, when I am asleep, which I view as rude and most unfair, but that is another matter. I wish I could do the same thing to her, and let her see how it feels to wear that shoe. But I've never been a believer in deception and dark arts. Truth and Light shall win the day, liars be damned.
If there are good descriptions on the Internet of the powers subtly empowered women possess, please send them my way. I will include some of that commentary here among these pages. But I have a feeling that there have not been many men with my ability who have come face to face with these powers to subvert a man, and even fewer who have the good fortune to have survived long enough to report on them.
Soul possession. Soul destruction. Male subversion. They are all quite real. I have had, and continue to have, real engagement with this female capacity for the past two years, and with its most virulent form for the past four months as of June 2019.
So, for all you guys out there, take heed! I've got the torch in hand that you don't have. Take advantage of the experience born wisdom that I share here. If the sex you are having is addictive and too good to be true, it probably is. Beware!
No More Middle Schoolers For Me?
Given what a disaster this experience has been for me, I would say that I don't want to work with general education twelve-to-fourteen-year-olds ever again. It's way too risky. Given my state of spiritual incompleteness, my nervous system is a sitting duck for subtle takeover. Kundalini has completely prepared my being for the most advanced stages of enlightenment. But I have steadfastly refused to turn on the light. Any time I get near to that I come down with horrific EMF sickness. So I have come not to trust Kundalini as a guide. I have to make quadruply sure, using my own judgment, that whatever is being shown to me is safe.
In February 2019 I began to paint my bedroom using the Geovital shielding products. I am very happy with the results. But prior to this project's completion, in February I was invaded by a young lady's consciousness that has, for lack of a better word, stymied my spiritual progress. So at this time I am unable to move forward until I can resolve or evict this unwanted presence within me. Cell phones and radios don't work inside this specially painted, curtained room. But I have been unable to determine how my deeper functioning responds to the materials, as my subtle system is now corrupted.
For incomplete spiritual aspirants, or aspirants who simply lack mojo, it would be best not to associate with any would-be succubus. As they say, a baby rattlesnake is the most lethal, so it is that the virgin succubi are unimaginably dangerous beings. They have great subtle power and spiritual intuition. And they are looking for an anchor for their astral body. A "host", if you will. I unwittingly stepped into what came to be a mess. What I thought was a special subtle relationshiop with someone became an overwhelming psychic invasion two years later when she finally gave herself to an appropriately aged peer. If you are a charismatic teacher, I would suggest you work with very young children, or children 16 years of age or older, just to steer clear of the dangers surrounding a subtly empowered woman's liberation of her astral body and where that astral body under her control implants itself.
Can two succubi inhabit one guy at the same time? I doubt it. One is most definitely enough already. But maybe two would lead to inter-succubus warfare, and both would be weakened, granting me some peace, if only temporarily. I wonder if a lesbian succubus could implant herself in another female, even another female succubus herself. That would be interesting. Maybe someone will learn the answer to these questions someday and share that knowledge with the rest of us.
What Do You Tell Your Boss?
That has been the big question for me. In my 29 years as a teacher, I have never had to take time off due to spiritual complications. I am proud of that. What this means is that the energy and experiences within me have been manageable. I've been able to suppress or control phenomena to the extent necessary for my employment, and I would add, sleep.
Without employment and sleep, it's hard to progress in any other area of your life. You need the provision of shelter and food -- and those take money. You don't have money unless you have work. And you can't have work or any peace whatsoever if you don't have sleep. So those two activities are foundational to the spiritual path. Kundalini -- that is, the spiritual path -- cannot be allowed to threaten them, or else your entire life can go down the drain.
So, after 29 years of working as a school teacher, and 34 years of successfully dealing with Kundalini's hot-and-bothered behavior within me, it came as a shock to me and my family that I decided, in just a few hours' time, to take leave of my employment and fly to Hawaii; and, after just two weeks there, fly to Western Australia, a place where no one in my family had ever been, and where I had never before expressed interest in visiting.
What do you tell your boss in this situation? Do you call the boss's secretary and ask, "What code do I enter on the sick leave form for 'Fleeing California Due to Succubus Takeover Of Subtle Nervous System'?" Do you expect her to respond, "Oh, sure, check box 11a for that"? Are you kidding me?
Well, speaking the truth about a situation like this is not an option. Most everyone in my circle, and they are about as "spiritual" as a box of rocks, says I need to seek professional help, a psychiatrist preferably. My father even went so far as to ask my mother if she thought I required an "intervention," even though it is my father who has the long history of alcoholism, three failed marriages, a long history of infidelity and philandering, and a good ten years on several psychotropic drugs, as well as becoming addicted to the pain killer drug, Vicodin. Did I add that he is quite fat? I ask, "Who is it here that needs intervention?" Well, he sure got it, and look at him now. As well, given how many women my father has slept with and angered, I think he is terrified by my suggestion that one of them could come to haunt his mental and spiritual well-being. So such an idea had to be expelled from the realm of possibility, regardless of its merit-worthiness.
Anyways, no one gets it. But I receive no counter-argument. It's simply an apriori held belief that such a thing as invasion of one's consciousness by another, possibly hostile, person is impossible.
So what do I do? I don't want to lie. My coworkers viewed my leave of absence as a mental health or stress leave. I had appeared a bit strained, but otherwise fine at work. (I kept the interior drama to myself as much as possible.) I didn't ask to be covered by my employer's workers' compensation insurance, although in truth, if it hadn't been for my work as a school teacher, I would never have gotten to know this young astral-body-endowed girl well-enough for her to have gotten it into her head that it was my body where this subtle identity of hers belonged. So it was absolutely on account of dangers encountered in the course of my employment that I was fleeing thousands of miles away. But it would be impossible to get the okay on this through my employer's Risk Management department or a Western trained MD. If a medical doctor were to support my claim at all, it would be something along the lines of my having gone mad (hopefully just temporarily) due to whatever reason, and that I needed time in some rehab situation (or at least heavy sedation) before I could be released to work duties again.
Of course, I didn't want to be viewed as someone with mental health issues, because even if resolved, who is to say that my mental stability would not prove a liability to my students and staff at some point down the line?
So what did I do? I laid this whole matter on the business of my being electrically sensitive. I had already had two different medical doctors write me letters stating that I needed protection from EMF. I sent these letters in, along with my rationale that the increased ambient EMF of Coachella Valley on account of the wireless connection needs of a half-million people flooding the area to attend the Coachella and Stage Coach music festivals, had triggered an unprecedented reaction in me, creating a situation where I needed, temporarily, to leave the area for one with better EMF that could calm and heal my nervous system.
Arguing to your employer about EMF is still a stretch, but it is far more comprehensible and defensible than the alternative: succubus-induced madness!
I even had to explain why I was in Western Australia. Of course I sought EMF refuge in the Australian Outback!
Anyways, it all worked out, although my leave of absence did cause familial and professional strain. None of those ties, at the end of the day, are broken. My job is secure. I was able to use my bank of sick leave to pay for my time away. And everyone is more familiar both with EMF-illness (with respect to my employer), and the dangers associated with subtly empowered women (with respect to friends and family).
I want to stress that my blaming EMF was not a lie. If it weren't for my Kundalini and brachial plexus awakened state, a direct consciousness of EMF would never have developed in me. But it is also on account of this EMF sensitivity that I have chosen not to become enlightened, for fear of catastrophic energy overload. And if it weren't for my unenlightened state -- this Kundalini halfway house I reside in -- the astral body and consequently, the succubus, either would not have been interested in me (due to the weakness of my condition), or would have chosen me with doing so not being a problem (had I attained a heart centered consciousness) because I would have had sufficient energy flow to ground and transmute her. Again, if it weren't for my condition of Electrical Sensitivity (ES), I would not have been so prone to this merging (or attack) from an external subtle actor.
The Cessation Of Sleep
This is in late May 2019. Unable to stifle Kundalini's protective ringing in my ears, the succubus anchor -- that I sometimes refer to as the subtle blight -- begins to send excessive amounts of energy to the base of my head. Looking at cross sectional images of the brain, I would say the stiffened wad of energy collected about the medulla and cerebellum. I am not sure what the mechanics of sleep are. I've always been able to sleep. If there is too much energy in my brain, I will use sex, food, and exercise to reduce pent up energy and "ground it in my toes," as I like to say.
The locus of the succubus's inhabitation of me is a small node of parasitic consciousness that lies within the heart muscle. It moves about at will and appears to be in constant real-time communication with the female form that it is an extension of. Drawing upon the heart muscle's own energetic reserves, it is able to throw energy to different parts of the body, either as an etheric lob that arcs across my body, or as tendrils of energy following nerve pathways, in this case shooting behind the heart to the spinal cord, and then proceeding upward into the base of the brain. While I can stiffen my neck muscles and shake my head to and fro to disrupt the etheric connection, the results are short lived, with the blight's being able to move into and cause mayhem in whatever area of my body that it wants to if it persists long enough in its efforts.
Given that the source female is a young girl with absolutely no responsibilities outside of tending to my destruction, she's usually able to get what she wants. I cannot wait for her life to be saddled with children, work, and a myriad of social commitments that take her away from her apparent full-time occupation! Please, get a life!
So it is that this astral anchor can cause an excess of energy to build up at the base of my skull. For whatever reason, the area of the cerebellum is particularly closely aligned with sleep. Too much tension in that area makes sleep impossible. I didn't know this before the succubus started messing with my mind. With Kundalini, I might have an excess of energy in my head, but generally that was from thinking too much. I was always able to deal with the energy accumulation in a holistic manner, using food and exercise to reduce the tension there and usher in much needed sleep. Whatever tension I felt in my mind was rarely localized or specific to the base of my head. It was more evenly distributed, with an emphasis on the frontal lobes where active thinking and internal dialogue take place.
So it was that one night, after some hours of sending tendrils of energy from my heart to my spine and then up into my head, that my medulla and cerebellum areas had become extremely tense. I had never felt such tension there. It had nothing to do with my mental state. I was fine. I was tired. My day at school had gone well. My staff and colleagues were delighted to see me back at work. There was nothing special about anything I did or felt that day. I had not been excited at work. I was calm. A coworker had spent 10 minutes praying over me after school to help me find spiritual guidance through Jesus Christ. I felt nourished by his attention. Later that evening, at 8pm or so, I laid down to sleep and for the first time in many years, I COULD NOT SLEEP. My every strategy to calm my mind failed to exert a calming influence on this wad of energy that had been artificially and maliciously introduced into my brain. I tried shaking my head one way or another, but the wad of energy stayed tight and unrelenting. It was a loss of control the likes of which I had never experienced before.
Never before in my life had I lied in bed and felt such a terror. Yes, Kundalini had been a wild companion at times, but it was always responsive to my efforts and it meant for me to thrive. This invasive presence did not respond to my efforts to control it, and it meant to harm me. There is a world of difference between the two. So I tossed and turned all night. I didn't dream. I didn't sleep a wink.
The next day, I told my mother that I was packing my bags to flee to Hawaii (again) if I could not sleep that evening. I scraped by at work, coming home with a burning desire to sleep. My mother has several friends who take medications for sleep. She was able to borrow some pills from one of these friends so that I could try them that night. Her argument was that before I make a drastic decision to upend my life and flee to a low paid job and uncertain spiritual future, I should at least try some of the pills that her friends had been taking regularly for years.
Not once in the past 54 years had I willingly taken a pharmaceutical product. Never even after my numerous dental surgeries had I taken anything to reduce the pain. I relish all naturally occurring feelings/sensations within me. But this externally induced sleeplessness was novel and exponentially worse. It was something that I had no internal or behavioral means to deal with. So, at 5pm I took the pills. I became a customer of the great menace to society: Big Pharma. I was inviting damage to my nervous system and Kundalini's ability to provide permanent rescue from this etheric parasite. But I had no job offer yet in Hawaii, and even if I got one, a brutal pay cut for sure. It would be far preferable, if at all possible, to face this presence right here in my own hometown where I could keep up on the many personal, professional, and financial obligations that I have here.
I took two 50 mg Trazodone tablets, and then a few hours in, a third one. Feeling nauseous, stumbling to the bathroom at about the four-hour mark, I felt all the taps and nervous system strains that the succubus had inserted into my brain dissolve. I felt them break apart and lift. There was an actual weight to the blockages. It was her conscious association with the energetic connection that lifted, and everything shifted and lightened. It was the dizziness that did the trick. My internal disequilibrium threw the succubus off her game for several hours. As soon as the blockages were gone, my mind relaxed and I was able to sleep, even though I was nauseous. The nausea was a Godsend.
I have yet to answer the question of what impact will taking a drug have on my spiritual path? I don't want any lasting damage to my internal neurochemistry. At the very least, these pills, if taken regularly, must definitely be but a short term strategy. Kundalini blesses only its most ardent devotees. Kundalini does not operate a half-way house for broken spiritual aspirants. If Kundalini determines that you are unfit, well, that's it. You're done. It is my hope that I do not fall into that category anytime soon. I cannot risk pharmaceuticals or the etheric drain of a virulent succubus blocking my path any longer than absolutely necessary.
How The Taps Broke - Sydney
I went to Australia to see what the effects of putting more distance between me and the source of the succubus would be. Hawaii had been helpful. It had bought me some time. But the harmful, anchoring presence in my heart remained intact. It might be slightly less powerful; and certainly, the amount of energy from its source that it could bring to bear on me was reduced significantly, perhaps by 75%. I thought, given that I am already taking this rash, unplanned leave from my employment, I might as well take my investigation a few steps further by extending the distance from 2600 miles (Kailua-Kona) to 9500 miles (Perth). Would the heart blight disappear? Would it be deprived of oxygen, so to speak, from its source and alter its behavior? I needed to know.
I had a flight from Kona to Melbourne. But it had to backtrack to Los Angeles first. About halfway to Los Angeles, about 1000 miles out, the base of my spine became very hot. Exceedingly hot. Never in my life had I felt such heat there. It was so painful I couldn't sit for a while -- or when seated, sit on only one butt cheek at a time, at an angle so as to stay off the coccyx. A battle had taken place and I had lost. The succubus was back in control of the spinal cord and the inflow and outflow of energy through that tiny, fragile tubing. I was terrified. The chaotic noise in my mind, the tearing into my self-consciousness -- these nightmares and more would return to me if I remained in California. It was at this point that I determined that I need an entire year's absence to sort out my predicament.
A few hours into my flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne, the heat in my spine had dissipated. The noise in my ears had calmed. I was on the right path. My health and sanity only improved as the ocean below me passed during the night. The fifteen-hour flight on United Airlines was torture -- seats that barely reclined, were way too narrow, with my knees shoved up against the seat in front of me, and without a seat to spare on the flight, all of us packed like sardines -- but that is another story.
Staying at the Hyatt Regency in Perth, the blight had lost the ability to give me erections. I felt its intention to crank me up when I laid down, but praise God my vascular tissue remained flaccid and undisturbed. It was a day or two later that I felt the tiniest whisper of energy attempt to enter my solar plexus, but it was weak and ineffectual. I rebuffed it easily. I was delighted.
But a week into the trip, the succubus had learned how to use my heart's energy against me. It was not nearly as powerful as using her own etheric energy delivered direct to my body from afar, but sufficient to be an ongoing nuisance. So it was that she was able to install small, but often painful "taps" to my buttocks area and, oddly enough, my left hip socket that made it painful to hike sometimes. I thought to myself that she didn't want me exercising much and boosting my vitality. She was able to introduce a small amount of noise into my ears, but it was weak and would recede into silence shortly after my waking in the morning.
There were four areas on my left side where the succubus had installed taps. They made my muscles tight in these areas, as well as draining me of energy. They were persistent. I was bummed out: "I am 9500 miles away from her, and quite a bit poorer, yet I still have to deal with this?" Looking at the dimming sky as winter approached southwestern Australia in late May, and feeling a "lower energy vibe" to the whole region in comparison to the Hawaiian islands, I thought to myself that I'd never get the psychic, energetic lift I need to permanently dislodge this thing inside me. Plus, I had no future in Australia. It would take years and gobs of money to become an accredited teacher here; and even at the top of the pay scale in Australia, I was earning more in California. I was hemorrhaging money as well. Soon I'd have to liquidate some of my silver holdings to finance this boondoggle. I wanted to avoid that. Reaping large gains from my silver investment was my only hope for moving out of my mother's house and purchasing a home of my own. Though I had thought I might spend two months in Australia, I shortened my stay to two weeks.
Two mornings later I flew from Perth to Sydney. Due to mechanical problems, the flight was delayed. After about six hours, we finally left Sydney, bound for Honolulu. It was just an hour or two into the flight that something unusual happened: the taps at the base and along portions of the left side of my spine, broke. They dissolved. I felt relieved immediately.
This event taught me a couple of things. It is work for the succubus to remain in contact with it's host. The work required grows with distance. If you add traveling at 700 mph and multiple destinations thousands of miles away in a short period of time, the task of staying connected to -- and in control of -- the host becomes at some point, impossible. In my case, the succubus simply could no longer keep my body in her etheric cross hairs. It is my belief that something broke that day, and she has never been able to reassert the level of control she once had. Was it the six hours I spent in Sydney, giving her insufficient time to adjust? Was it simply too much time spent in a distant land, causing the connection to weaken, and then flying again? Of this I am unsure because I had no sensation of relief in my flight from Perth to Sydney. I look forward to additional information gathering trips like this to determine the best approach to weaken my succubus link.
It is my hope that over time, and with additional trips to Hawaii and more distant lands like Australia, the succubus will experience a decrease in the potency of its power to subvert my physical and etheric bodies. With every trip I take, I hope to become freer of this etheric contagion. The more free I am, the more able Kundalini will be to take final, decisive action both to assist me in transcending my limited state of consciousness as well as to evict this unwanted presence that dwells in my heart.
Two Aspects to the Control: Etheric Energy and the Anchor
There are two aspects to the succubus' control over the male body. One is a permanent subtle anchor, either in the form of an astral body, or what remains after the astral body has left, the succubus implant. While neither one is self-sustaining, both are relatively permanent in nature. These anchors draw etheric energy directly from the host. The sources for this etheric energy are the various glands and nerve plexuses in the male body. For the one week in which I harbored an astral body, I felt a patterning of itself over my entire nervous system, with a particular draw upon the testicles. My testicles became large and puffy, with energy being pulled up into my solar plexus, which was the astral body's base. They had definitely been yoked to another purpose; and their consistency and direction of energy flow was markedly different than when K first awakened in me.
With respect to the succubus implant, for the first four to six weeks, it moved freely about my body. It would touch my heart multiple times a day. There then came a time that it decided to go inside the heart muscle itself. I felt weakened by this. I was concerned by the damage it could do from inside there. I was not happy about this. The parasite seems to be able to draw whatever energy it needs directly from the heart muscle itself. I don't think the parasite leaves the heart muscle at all anymore. My heart is its permanent home. A week or two after it took up residence there, one time it did leave, and I felt a jolt or tear as the small one-inch square subtle blight leapt from the exterior of the heart. (It feels like its "size" varies slightly from day to day, though it may be increasing in size with time.) This was when I was sunbathing near a mountain creek. I thought that the penetrating sunlight had an effect on it like it would a vampire. But she went back in later that day and I've never been able to repeat the response with additional sunbathing. From within the heart, the parasite is able to make contact with other parts of my body. It's like an extension of her presence in the heart. Her forays into my body are aimed, almost exclusively, at deadening any area that might be able to hold or promote a psychic current. That would be my crown, frontal lobes, thymus and thyroid glands, prostate and testicles, my brachial plexus, the complex of nerves at the base of my spine, and the node on the right side of the chest near the right nipple.
The second aspect of control has to do with the anchoring presence's ability to summon etheric energy from the female succubus' physical form. The amount of energy available for host-invasion is a function of three things: the succubus' potency, the succubus' physical distance from the host, and the (male) host's ability to repulse unwanted etheric invasion of his body. The additional etheric energy made available to the astral body or implant is utilized for the quickened and deepened takeover of the host's physical and subtle form. If the host is able to decrease the amount of energy available in this manner -- whether by engaging various succubus-expelling kriyas or putting great distance between himself and the source of the implant -- then he will extend his life and give himself additional time to win the spiritual support necessary for a permanent eviction of the subtle manifestation.
I stated that these anchors are relatively permanent. That is true. That will stay inside you unless and until something drastic happens: A) You evict them as I did the astral body; B) You finally achieve heart-centered consciousness and all this "mind-stuff" evaporates like a demon at daybreak; or C) You or the succubus' owner dies.
I did wonder at one point whether the girl who antagonizes me would be agreeable to a payoff of some large amount of currency in exchange for withdrawing the implant. I was thinking of $50,000 paid immediately upon withdrawal, $50,000 paid in 5 years if the implant stays out of my body, and a final $50,000 paid upon my death if I am able to spend the rest of my life in etheric peace. I spoke about this plan with my mother who was horrified by the idea, stating that it would look like hush money paid as a result of illicit contact. I suppose it was and is illicit contact, but not physical in nature. I don't know what laws are on the books regarding psychic contact between a minor and a school teacher. Anyway, I haven't pursued this. The legal contract I contemplated proffering was a bit tricky; i.e., how would I or she "prove" that I was clear of etheric obstruction? I think it would have to be my word. I imagine she could withdraw the implant if she chose. But whether this astral body or succubus is a one-man-for-life relationship, I do not know. Can she have multiple implants at one time? Once withdrawn, can it be implanted in someone else? I don't know the answers to these questions. The high dollar amount points to the level of importance this matter has for me; but confidentiality and the avoidance of my looking guilty in some way for offering this sum to her (and a portion to her parents) would be hard to ensure.
It's About The Drug Addict
This is in Hawaii in 1999. A beautiful, electrically charged woman is making moves on me. I feel heat in my chest and solar plexus when she is near me. There are other sensations. One in particular stands out. The preschool classes are stretching in the gym. She is doing the butterfly stretch about ten feet from me. An eruption of sexual desire arises within me, the likes of which I have never experienced. Every cell in my body wants to have sex with her. My toes and knees have never before expressed a desire for copulation. Usually that is just my groin, torso, and head. But every cell? Are you kidding me? It was extraordinary, but it was also odd. The feeling didn't originate from my body. It was compelled from without. I was very curious, but also mistrustful.
Energy manifestations aside, what about the father of her two children? I never saw him. Not that we spoke much, but I never heard her speak of him. Someone told me that he had been employed but had turned to drugs and no longer worked. Being as fascinated with her as I was, I didn't stop to consider the poor judgment she must have had to choose a mate like that, or whether she had any role in the negative turn of events in his life.
Fast forward twenty years. It is February 2019. It's Saturday morning, twenty-fours after a fourteen-year-old girl has implanted me with her astral body. I wake up in an altered state. I feel woozy. There is a new ring tone in my head I have never heard. I swear that my irises have changed color. They look more like hers. An image comes to mind, as one always does when I find myself in unusual spiritual situations that defy language. I am the guy from a television show (*) in a floatation tank, in a state of suspended animation, but in this case with every cell in my body being pulled away from me on account of a hidden magnetic attraction. Etherically, it is as if every cell in my body is no longer oriented to God, nor even to my own brain, but rather to this external agent, new to my life, at some distance outside my body. I, and the astral body in my abdomen, are both entirely oriented to the physical source of the astral body -- this energetically precocious young girl who had grown attached to me for some unfathomable reason over the past two years.
Robert Kazinsky as Jimmy Pritchard, in suspended animation recharge tank in the 2016 FOX TV series, "Second Chance."
Of course, to have my brain no longer wish to contemplate God or the spiritual purpose of my life was completely anathema to me. It was novel and abhorrent. My mind immediately engaged some logical analysis. I looked for points of comparison from information I had read in books as well as from my own experiences.
This feeling of every cell in my body being yoked to an external, human agent brought to mind the sensation I had in the gymnasium with that young mother of two. It was this experience that was my closest referent. I thought, "That feeling I had must have been the feeling her boyfriend had demonstrated whenever he thought of her. Yes, that is where my situation is headed: a complete, total loss of control of my every cell in my body to her magnetic attraction." I wasn't there yet. It would take weeks, perhaps months, for me to lose myself so completely in her, but most assuredly this was the path that the astral body had set me on. Rather than Self-realization as the Heart via the descending current of Shakti -- with the extraordinary feelings and sense of liberation that comes from one's consciousness being grounded in the brachial plexus -- the new endpoint for all my spiritual aspirations was now this girl's body. To make love with her body would be to make love with the veritable God Head itself. I would come to view her physical presence as the one and only fount of all things Transcendent and Eternal. I was startled. I could not think of a more dystopic future for myself. She was not a nice girl. I had seen her be quite mean to boys. She used them. Something had to be done. The tractor beam that my soul was caught in had to be disabled. The astral body had to go.
I wonder sometimes whether this poor guy had any choice in the matter. His girlfriend -- and soon to be spiritual owner -- was beautiful. She had a seductive charm about her. She made him feel things he had never felt before. She was able, on the etheric level, to help his erections become more firm and numerous in a manner far beyond what he could achieve with anyone else but her. She was able to stimulate the tissue surrounding the testicles (e.g., the epididymis) to make orgasm more intense, or to decrease tension in that area so as to prolong sex. She was like his personal programmable sex robot. But she was real. And she was his. But she was feeding upon his soul throughout this process, and I am 99% certain that she had implanted in him her astral body that made his devotion to her -- and the resulting closeness -- that much more complete. But there was a terrible price to be paid for this extraordinary sex and intimacy.
That price was the loss of God, the loss of his Soul, and the loss of his spiritual directedness in the world. All roads in the new world he had found led to Her Body.
Of course, he was not aware of any of this. His old world gradually, and perhaps rapidly, slipped away. Perhaps an insightful friend or family member tried to talk some sense in to him: "Look at yourself. You are not who you used to be. You don't care about what you used to care about. No one is important to you anymore but this new girl of yours. You are always in the bedroom with her. You never answer the phone. What is up with all that? Can't you see she is bad medicine? You should leave her for your own good. You are wasting your life. Come back. Your family misses the old you."
But what his family did not know was that a hidden, unstoppable force had been unleashed within him. He was young, perhaps just 18 years old. I seriously doubt he knew that an externally controlled subtle power had taken root in him. All he knew is that he loved her. There was nothing more that he wanted from his life than to be close to her, forever. He had never experienced God before, but he was certain that sex with this girl was as close as he ever needed to get to that. He would happily stop his search now. The existential bonding with her was profound. His desire for more of it could never be sated.
The loneliness and isolation he felt without her was unbearable. When she was gone, all he could think about was her. As his motivation for work and his various social obligations tanked, she began to withdraw his access to her body. She was not pleased. While she wanted total control, this loss of his broader functioning was not what she wanted. She needed a reliable man who brought in an income to support her and the children they created.
As the loss of his ability to negotiate the world mounted, in tandem with his girlfriend's withdrawal of affection, he turned increasingly to self-medication. I don't know what his drug of choice was. I don't think it was marijuana, as pot doesn't give the total high that he sought. Nor do I think it was methamphetamines, even though such drugs were popular in Hawaii at the time. I am thinking more that it was heroin, as heroin gives you the numbing and bliss that a guy trying to cope with an astral body gone bad would need.
So that is what I didn't want: A future where I would be in the thrall of a drug like heroin. Without a job. Without a home. Living on the streets, a perpetual victim of this world we inhabit, and never a moment free of this external agent that controlled me from within.
The sad thing is, once the astral body has dropped anchor, it is a lifelong commitment. You could see it on this young mother's face. She was not happy. An important part of her was imprisoned in the drug addicted body of her children's father. She had won, but she had also lost. This is not what she had wanted.
I don't think either of them had much control over this outcome. He didn't see it coming, and he lacked the means to do anything about such an overwhelming subtle presence within him. And for her, it was her nature. She was born to have an electrical charge about her that was irresistible to men -- and a body to match it. Her astral body was meant to find a home in the body of her first sexual partner. The nature of that astral body, and the attraction that it had for the physical body of its owner, was predetermined. It was a developmental process. It was nature in action.
If there is any helpful role that the astral body can play, it can only be in the context of an enlightened man playing the role of host, whose spiritual center of gravity cannot be swayed by the astral body's presence within him. And even then, in this most rare and ideal of circumstances, I am not sure that there is not an ultimately parasitic and unhelpful dimension to the astral body's presence.
Get A Job, Have Some Kids, Please
This is the problem with malicious people who have too much time on their hands. Idle time exacerbates their wickedness. As it is said, "Idle hands make the Devil's work." And this is the problem that makes a fourteen-year-old succubus so much more dangerous. She has way too much free time. I picture her spending endless hours on her cell phone at her house, minimally attentive to the digital display, with the bulk of her attention placed upon her etheric world, i.e., me.
For those brief hours where she is not paying attention to me, I feel a decided psychic lift. It is like a weight has been lifted from the entirety of my being. My mood improves dramatically. I become optimistic, happy, aspirational, and motivated again. I have more energy to think and exercise. It is marked, And it is wonderful. My best guess is that at these times she is having dinner, or sleeping, or doing something socially.
Lately, as of early July, I haven't felt these breaks very often at all. I have doubts that she is even seeing her boyfriend with any frequency. Maybe his conquest was way too easy for her, and so I am getting her full attention for the time being. Maybe she plans on adding other guys to her list of conquests, as the act of sexual and subtle domination is so satisfying to her. Who knows?
She has three more years of high school, during which time I doubt that there will be many demands placed upon her. She pays little attention during her classes. The only time I feel a relative lift is during her PE class. The rest of the time she is able to concentrate upon me. She mentioned once that she has boys in academic classes complete her assignments for her. So perhaps that is how she gets by. I pray that she gets pregnant and becomes a mother. That would help my situation. Sadly, given that she is of the generation that practically has been raised with a cell phone in her hand from age four, her reproductive eggs are likely hardened from the EMF exposure (*), rendering her sterile without artificial insemination, which is a costly procedure. I had hoped that she would be pregnant by now and had moved in with the family of the father of her child. But given the extent of the conscious attention I feel placed upon me day and night, that is most definitely not the case.
If not saddled with children of her own to be responsible for, I pray that she will be very busy after she leaves high school. That is still three years away, but I need something to look forward to. Hopefully she will be working, or living on her own, or going to college full time. Anything that would command her attention during the day and force her to use night for actually sleeping rather than draining and coopting my consciousness me would be a huge relief.
The situation I have now, where I am a comparatively tired, older adult with numerous work, creative, and health-supporting demands, while an adolescent succubus literally bites my ass 18-20 hours a day, is most unfair.
Discussion continued here.
Comments
2023.11.6. Add comments RE how the 22 year old Mom could not project her etheric energy beyond a short radius about her physical body as her astral body had already mated. And perhaps comment on the corrupting effect her absolute control over her mate had on her, vis a vis her orientation to me. // The unnatural or at least not ideal drawing from testicles. They felt spongy, enlarged and altogether odd when held in traction to her growing subtle body within me, as if this was a rusty and completely secondary support provided in the case the man has no activity in the brachial plexus. I think the most auspicious situation arises with a realized heart chakra and then the subtle body of the mate draws from the wealth of energy available in the chest, and that this porcess is meant to tap into that, if at all possible.
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