Light Shining In The Face - A Selfless Stare - Spiritual Identification - Sexual Idealization - Male Archetype - Aspirational Recognition


To be recognized by a woman is a blessing. One of my favorite spiritual role models is the Hindu god, Krishna, who incarnates in human form in order to liberate mankind. Krishna has a variety of incarnations: lover, warrior, sage, child, yogi and so forth. He assumes whatever appearance or point of view is needed for aspirants to progress on the spiritual path. My favorite form of his is that of lover or consort. All the gopis -- young female cow herders -- in India are said to fall in love with him the moment they see him. That's awesome. Spiritual attainment should be attractive physically, energetically, and intellectually. Women should fall madly in love with a spiritual aspirant if he is following a path dedicated to universal liberation. For someone truly to be capable of liberating others, he/she must be capable of great strength, wisdom, courage, and the like. Truth and beauty should shine from his or her eyes. He should be physically strong and hold tenaciously to his vision of freedom and a grand moral accounting. While no man or woman may actually become Krishna, Christ, or any number of true spiritual role models, to the extent that he or she is able, the spiritual aspirant is here to return all manifest beings to their true Dharma, or spiritual purpose.

Though my life has had considerable cloud cover, there have been many instances where light shined through and revealed certain truths to me. What I relate in the following is the beautiful chemistry that occurs when yin and yang connect, when heaven and earth are made one. These might be passing phenomena, but they point to an extraordinary potential that could become a common occurence, even a moment-to-moment relational norm, if humanity progresses in a direction that better supports spiritual realization.

Mother Shakti Goddess Transmission Observations - November 19, 2017


There are several ways that women have recognized me. By "recognize" I mean display a deep understanding, appreciation, and desire. This is usually noted in a first or early encounter. I have observed ripples of energy course through the woman's body, light emanating from the face, a prolonged "mindless" absorbed stare, and rapid vibrations from the thymus gland.

I've been a school teacher for the past 28 years. Apart from hiking and grocery shopping, I don't go out of the house much. So most of my interactions with women occur in the workplace. Sometimes the identification has occurred with a student. As time goes on I usually end up paying more attention to these girls, but I have to be careful lest I annoy staff with a perceived infatuation. Acknowledging someone who loves you is the right thing to do. But you must be careful not to cross various social and legal lines in the sand that might cause you occupational difficulties.

The Stare

This has happened mostly with 14-16 year old girls. I will be demonstrating my kindness or intelligence in some over the top manner, and I will turn around and see a girl lost in contemplation of me. I will make eye contact with her, but she is not there. She is caught in a dream as she looks at me. The feeling is one of seeing someone drinking deeply from some psychic archetype within them, calibrating their sexual-existential aspirations. Not that I am perfect, but I do stand out in terms of charisma, health, caringness, and intelligence. I would make an excellent husband and father if I ever got around to it. In any event, women have to make do with the men in their midst, and from what I have observed, for many women, I set a new standard for what they believe is achievable in a mate.

I taught special education preschool for nine years in Hawaii. But for most of that time, I also had some older students who had more severe handicaps. One day I was pushing one of these students in her wheelchair. As I passed the administration office I looked to my right and down a few feet toward the flagpole area and grass where an awards assembly was taking place. One of the eighth grade student officers, D, was looking up at me. It was a blank stare, like she was in a dream. It was a good two seconds before her self-consciousness reasserted itself, with her seeing me as a separate individual, and our eye contact broke. D was a popular girl, and perhaps the prettiest girl in her grade. So it was my pleasure to make myself available to her as a rubric or ideal against which other men would be measured. In Hawaii it seems that everyone is related to everyone else. So it was that my instructional assistant was her aunt. With her aunt's permission I gave D some music CDs (just CD-Rs of music I had copied) and a short note of how impressed I was with her and how I wished her good luck in all things. There was a part of me that wanted her to hold out for me, but as is the case with most girls in rural Hawaii, they blossom at 12-13, are in sexual relationships by 14 or 15, and stay with those partners for the rest of their lives. So if I had to wait till girls turned 18, there would not be much for me to choose from. Or she might be 18 but already with a child or two and quite overweight on account of Hawaiians having no interest in physical fitness or delayed gratification. It was something of an ordeal for me to see all this ripe fruit spoiling around me. So I turned inward to writing and exercise for the most part.

Returning to teach in California, I had a high school class of special needs students. I was lecturing one day, roaming the room as I did, and I turned to see a female student lost in contemplation of me. The lack of self awareness persisted for about three seconds, which is an eternity, before her attention was brought to the present and our eye contact broke. Like D, "A" was a pretty girl seeking to fashion a male role model in her mind, and settled on me as the best candidate for this important task. A's father set up a social media account for her to communicate with me outside work. We had to take a break in this when she broke the rules and sent me some heart emojis.

Vibrations in Thymus

This is in Hawaii with D again. She is my classroom, maybe five feet away sitting, as I lift the female student who I had been pushing the day D fell into a reverie looking at me. As I lift the student to place her in another position, I feel rapid vibrations of love coming from D's thymus gland. I had never felt this from another person before. I had had some rapid vibrations in my thymus a number of times in 1994, and my thymus gland routinely contracted during orgasm, or pulsed with pleasure when in direct sunlight, but I had never felt its activity in another person. I had thought that heightened glandular function only occured in an awakened state, as this had been the case with me. But obviously, some people have certain gifts or abilities that don't seem to follow the developmental sequence I had observed in myself. I think women in particular are born with certain subtle capacities, or these capacities emerge as a matter of course by adolescence, to a much greater extent than they do in men. Maybe the whole yogic tradition is a compensatory process to make up for what men typically lack!

Light in the Face

Having light rise up from the body to shine in the face, often accompanied by an ecstatic involuntary smile, is the most common love-response I have seen in women. Next to my preschool classroom in Hawaii was another preschool, but for non-handicapped students. I would lead our joint recesses, as well as take over instruction in the other classroom, especially for fingerplay and story time, which I was famous for. I had about 200 fingerplays, many I had created or adapted myself, and I led workshops on them as well. Anyway, for two years there was a student, B, who was the tallest student as well as the leader of the group. I worshipped her confidence and zest for life. B was as madly in love with me as a four year old girl can be. So it was that I encountered B and her mother one day at the local Walmart store. When B's mother saw me, light shone through her face and she gave me a huge smile. That's all I really want: recognition, love, adoration. I guess it helped that I wrote a letter describing what a marvelous girl B was to the family, as well as giving a gift certificate to a local healthfood store, as I did for about 30 people on campus that year. So I grounded my charm and charisma with some concrete acts of appreciation. I am sure that helped.

In California I am taking a tour of a few classrooms that have teacher vacancies, and I walk into one of them. An instructional assistant -- a pretty one -- sees me and light rushes to her face as she beams a smile at me. It turns out that she was a lazy person, and an overall lousy aide, but the root recognition was there. I don't know if everyone can see what I see. It wasn't just a case of a smile. People smile all the time. What made this one different was that there was a definitely pronounced energetic overlay of visible light that only comes into play when deep emotional and sexual potentials within the body are simultaneously activated.

In Hawaii I am in the school cafeteria. I approach K and say something funny. A flood of energy rises up and brightens her face and she smiles. This only lasts a second or two, and she pushes the energy back down into her body and goes back to "ignoring" me. I was proud of myself, having breached her subtle blockade. Clearly K loved me, but in a controlling, twisted way that did not include intellectual transparency. For K to show light in the face was a no-no, a loss of control. K was highly self-conscious of every aspect of our subtle engagements.

In Hawaii K is employed in the preschool classroom next to mine. There are a few months where she is in the process of jettisoning her husband and taking a new one. I am one of an unknown number of partner candidates for her. So various energy displays and subtle cat and mouse games are afoot, but certainly no intellectual honesty. I am quite interested in her, but only because she is beautiful and causes me to have these incredible sensations in my body. She will allow no meeting of minds. In any event, K comes into my classroom where I am leading a group activity. She threads her way between my desk and cabinet, but gets snagged on the corner of a piece of plywood I have sitting on top where I place my personal possessions box and a glass gallon container of distilled water. Anyway, when she strikes the corner of the wood, I blurt out, with the words emanating from my solar plexus so that there is considerable psychic charge to them, "I'm sorry!" K immediately looks to me with an open-mouthed half-smile. What was fascinating was that the face itself was not illuminated, nor was there any change in the eyes I could detect. In fact, the eyes might have darkened, as I have no recollection of them. However, a ghostly subtle light emitted from her mouth. It was like a ghoulish lightbulb had been inserted into her mouth. I was creeped out, with the interaction confirming for me that K's intent was to feed on my energy, like a spider feeds off an insect trapped in its web. I can only imagine what kind of creepy light would be visible as she rode me sexually to the point of orgasm, feeling the pulses of my life force inside of her rise up through her oral cavity. K is a dark sorcereress, with many psychic skills. She wants me, but only from a position of control and domination. I will write more about her in posts dedicated to various psychic phenomena surrounding energy transmitting women.

Quivering of Energy and Softening of Affect

I am in California. I have S, a new student assistant. We have never seen each other before. S is sitting at a table with two other student assistants (both boys) as I discuss expectations in my classroom. I see and feel a ripple of energy go from her head down into her body that is accompanied by a softened emotional affect. It's hard to describe this. You have to feel it, really. But I do think the electromagnetic or biochemical shift within her was visible. It was like a cellular wave passed through her in response to looking at and feeling me. There was no change in S's face. It was as placid and attentive as ever. However, a softening -- an emotional receptiveness-- to me immediately followed. What had been a neutral or slightly tough demeanor became soft and completely responsive. I had never felt such an immediate shift on an energetic level. I was so happy to see and feel this, from such an energetically attuned, tall, fit, beautiful girl. When a woman so obviously chooses you, you don't have to do much. It's all in her hands. All you have to do is honor and respect her. She'll make the rest of the relationship happen. I felt I had hooked a 2000 pound trophy marlin. My job now was to assume a comfortable, patient position of the long, slow haul. I ended up mailing photos, some trinkets, and letters of recommendation to this group the summer after the school year ended. S knows how to get a hold of me when she turns 18. I hope that she does!

Psychic Dominatrixes Can't Get Enough of Me

Kind, subtle-energy attuned women are drawn to me. This is great. I am happy for it. But oddly, bad energy-channeling women seem to be especially drawn to me. You would think they would want a bad guy to be with -- a fellow traveler who shares their interest in control of others -- but that does not appear to be the case. Bad girls want to corrupt and dominate someone who is inherently good. Maybe they know who would make a good, reliable partner, and father for their children, so they prefer a man who displays these traits. I am not sure what their modus operandi is. They are not terribly disclosive of their intentions, especially with the men in their cross hairs.

This is Hawaii. My first encounter with K is in the general education preschool. I am leading some fingerplays, and the group of 10-15 students can't contain their joy as they imitate the hand motions and words of the silly songs. I am wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and am considerably more fit and energetic than I am now. Anyway, K takes one of the small student chairs and sits just to my left, no more than five feet away. The look on her face is stoical. There is no emotion, no pleasure. She is studying me and the group dynamic like a predator studies its prey. I am laughing. I am expressive. But K's face is grey. It's like the absence of light. Her son is a student in the class. This is before she applied for a job in the preschool. In retrospect I can say with certainty that this was when she decided she wanted me. Obviously, she was responding to my charisma, joy, and freedom, but not as one to share in and celebrate it, but rather as one who would control it, and pull this eruption of energy within me into an orbit around her.

K and a few other women I have met sought to control me. Though they were dead serious about it, for me it was a matter of curiousity. I found it endearing that someone might think they could control me. Good luck with that! I can't even control myself! K transmitted some of the most powerful sexual and energetic vibrations I have ever experienced. An unawake man might think K was the source of all things transcendental. But for me, no matter what K did, it still paled in comparison to the inner flow of shakti or heightened consciousness within me. The more intense K's transmissions became, the more I would want to just laugh at her and say, "Get real! This feels great, but let me be! You cannot and will not control me! I already know who I am!" Although I never met the man, I hear that K's ex-, and the father of her two kids, was a drug addict. I don't know if this happened before or during his relationship with K. But it points to the fact that any man who would have his life force revolve around another person is inherently unstable. Being addicted to K is like being addicted to drugs. You need something that you don't produce internally, and the scarcity or pricing of what it is that you are hooked on is a matter you have no control over. I don't know if K would ever reflect on her pattern of behavior and determine that she left a wake of destablization and pain behind her, but I think that was the case. It was also the case that her oldest boy had a ghostish appearance to me, like he had no idea how to be internally directed, as mom in her sorcery and, ultimately, weakness, had created another incomplete, moorless drug-addict-to-be.






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