Explosions In Left Temporal Lobe - Energy Overcharge - Feelings Of Extraordinary Weight, Tiredness And Desire To Sleep When Nearing Cellular, Radio, And Microwave Towers - The Sense Of Weight And Desire To Sleep Preceded EMF Consciousness And Was A Benign Kundalini Manifestation

Kundalini Awakening - Spiritual Signs And Symptoms / Tape Transcriptions - Olympus Digital Voice Reocrder Entries 1-7, September 20, 2004

2004.9.4. Monday, 8:17 a.m. (Olympus voice recorder entry #1)

Today is Monday, September 6, 2004, 8:17 a.m. This is my first entry into this little dude -- this Olympus micro-recorder, digital voice recorder. I'm talking into this thing and I am happy with this little guy. I'm going to be recording a lot of information here. Aloha.

2004.9.20. (Olympus voice recorder entries #2 - #7)

Okay, I'm recording now. It's September 20, 2004, Monday, 11:20 a.m. I'm en route to Waimea for a dentist appointment, hit the Salvation Army, then on the return hit Costco and Home Depot, looking for a new VCR for school, returning some mortar from my finished tiling job. I have two people at my house right now who are painting the interior. So I've got lots going on.

I have EMF symptoms to report today. Over the last few weeks I have had repeated explosions along a 4 or 5 inch long piece of tissue -- whether it's nervous, or endocrine, or circulatory I am not sure -- but it's in my left temporal lobe. It's above my ear maybe 2-3 inches, extending forward and backward from there, a continuous length of tissue. There are these explosions through its full length. It's like an energy overcharge, just too much energy going through it, and it hurts. There have been a number of times -- in the store, the car, wherever I am -- when I have to crouch down or lean over, be totally still, be motionless, and massage this area, and deal with the pain. I have to massage this area vigorously, squeezing and holding my head, doing absolutely nothing else but focusing my attention there, to deal with the pain. I am just hopeful there is no stroke, because if I am to die of anything, it's most likely that it will be a stroke in that area.

Also, over the last few months I have developed an increasingly tired and heavy sensation in areas of high ambient EMF. I know this is nothing new, but it's now much more prominent. I mean, this sensation of weariness and weight has become incredible. There is this extraordinary -- not tiredness -- but rather desire to sleep. My consciousness becomes like glue. It becomes very heavy, pulling down, and I just want to fall asleep. This is when I enter higher EMF areas in particular, although these feelings peak at certain times of the day [noon and sunset] at my house as well.

(Yawning) As I neared a cell tower this morning I just felt this incredible desire to yawn, this sense of exhaustion. It was mostly a great, almost overwhelming desire to sleep. There have been many times in the last few weeks where I'm driving and I can barely hold my eyelids open. (pause, sound of highway in background) I mean, it's been remarkable how difficult it's been to stay awake, or to maintain my consciousness on the level it's operating on. Sometimes this feeling of weight's been associated with greater strain in various areas -- my heart, my brachial plexus, my brain, or different endocrine glands -- but in any event, whatever it is I am sensitive to, or whatever state I'm dealing with, it's very much alive and in flux.

The chance is remote that I will be enlightened -- that I will find myself one day alive and functioning with a modicum of whole-body-enlightened consciousness. It is very remote that that will happen -- given my age and the predicament I am in -- though I still think it's possible.

I've also felt relatively stable and good at work a number of times, lately, even though my job is so demanding, even though it is in a higher-EMF area. Nevertheless, I have felt like I am somehow breaking through -- or rendering transparent -- my being in that situation or environment. So, I haven't given up hope. My body is still responding, and I've been feeling pretty good, although my writing is probably down by 2/3 or 3/4 from what it should be. Probably a lot less than that.

I can go days without exercising and I'm just not interested right now in raising my vibration level. So I don't exercise a lot. I did 45 minutes this morning, but it had been four days since my last workout, which was only about 25 minutes one morning, maybe Wednesday morning, before going to work.

Other things... Well, you know, I condtinue to consider moving. I will probably be visiting my mother, X (edit 1), at Christmas time. I will probably spend four weeks back there, taking an additional two weeks from my bank of paid leave, in order to scour the area.

(pause) September 20th, 2004 continued. Though I would like the greater pay, the drier weather, teaching (edit 2), greater cultural exposure for myself, greater likelihood of encountering a woman that I would fall in love with -- all of those things are true of my being in L.A. or moving to California. I am concerned about a stricter school system where I would have to work harder even than I already do for some reason, though I doubt that will be the case. That would be fear-based to stay here just for that. I am fearful of having greater EMF levels at my workplace and at my new home. Also, I've grown quite accustomed to the quiet -- not that I have it, given my neighbor [with his dogs and generator on all the time ] -- but basically, the relative peace and quiet and openness and natural environment of where I live right now. I won't have that in most areas of southern California, at least those that I might move to. So I'll definitely have to be careful about where I move to so I don't lose ground on that level.

[Kundalini Symptoms Prior To EMF Consciousness]

One more note about this incredible tiredness -- or actually this great, almost overwhelming desire to sleep, or need to sleep, or enter a consciousness that characterizes sleep. Yes, it intensifies in higher EMF areas. But this all existed prior to the onset of my manmade EMF sensitivity. I would frequently feel this driving back from work living on Oahu, during those months from July 1994 to December 1995. Driving home from work, or wherever I was, it was often the case that I would have this incredible weight or heaviness about me, and a desire to sleep. There was no pain associated with it. It was clearly a benign event or process. There was nothing associated with an unhealthful strain on my body. There was nothing inside of me that monitored or perceived this phenomena that would say or would tell me that it was something of a negative origin, something that I should either fear or repress, or avoid. It was never that way. So now, with a full-blown manmade EMF consciousness -- though it complicates things -- the mechanism is largely the same, though I am overwhelmed by energies now that are harmful to me and that make this whole process of adapting or adaptation that much more dangerous and difficult.

[Note 2010.7.16.: In fact, I almost looked forward to the challenge of seeing how insanely tired, heavy, and gluelike my consciousness could become while still managing to drive my car safely. I came to know that the state was transitory, because some minutes later, no matter what, I would be as alert and unencumbered as ever.]

(later) September 20th, 2004, continued. It's about 3:30. I'm almost into Kona, on the return from my dental appointment in Waimea. He did a couple of injections into my upper right jaw, not in the back, but along my gums for work around my incisors. I had a couple of cavities. I felt the numbness spread into my right nostril, my right eyeball, and on into my head. Right now the right side of my brain -- my right hemisphere -- and my right ear, yeah, my upper cheek going into my ear and then throughout that region of my brain there, a good four-inch radius inward and around my ear, there's a sensation of glue...heavy glue...numbness. That's where I feel the anesthetic. That's what I feel. I feel out of it -- yeah, I feel pretty out of it.

I guess that it's good that I'm alive because whatever mechanism -- in terms of adaptive consciousness -- exists, it's got to take my experience into account. It's got to try to be figuring out what to do, helping enough people see my perspective, or finding a way for people to adapt physiologically and psychically to this stuff, so that future experiences -- people in the future who have a similar heart chakra opening as me -- will be better equipped -- better prepared for the various poisons that you are exposed to -- or that become apparent to you in that state.

Comments June 21, 2013

Over the last several years this process has grown more frustrated and moribund. The same symptoms of heaviness, fog, weight, weariness, et cetera persist for hours with no break, no resolution into clarity. I find myself retreating to bed -- or food, or masturbation, or mindless media consumption -- to seek insentience. I no longer have a sense of being challenged to persist with my analytical waking consciousness and pierce the veils of the unconscious, thereby deepening my spiritual presence and the totality of mind and consciousness under my volitional "control." The sensation has become a wall, a dead end, around which there is no detour and from which there is no exit. My earlier optimism has been replaced by dismay and utter frustration. There is no workaround, no clarity, no peace, no resolution to the dilemma posed by my bodymind's attempt to channel/resolve/amplify manmade electromagnetic field. All my body's physiologic and subtle systems recoil from this chronic and intensifying exposure.

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