Testicle Irradiation And Throbbing Pain In Waimea - Signs Of Cognitive Dysfunction: Slurred Speech, Disorientation, Fear - The Opposite Of The Calm And Existential Certainty That Accompany Deep Spiritual Identification

Kundalini Awakening - Spiritual Signs And Symptoms - 2004 / Tape Transcriptions - Olympus Voice Recorder Entries #9-#10 - September 27, 2004 (a)

2004.9.27. (a) (Olympus voice recorder entry #9.) (1:06 audio)

It's September 27th, 2004, Monday, 8:46 a.m. I'm an hour late to a workshop in Waimea for preschool. I felt pretty incoherent all morning while driving. Right now, though, several miles out of Waimea, and getting worse as I approach, my balls, totally, feel irradiated. My right testicle in particular -- there's a throbbing pain there. There's a sense of irritation, swelling, in both of them, and just pain. Now the pain in my right testicle is going around my hamstring, and to my coccyx, everywhere. The workshop is at the Waimea Civic Center. Anyways, my balls hurt a lot, and there's going to be greater EMFs in Waimea.

END #9

2004.10.4. (Olympus voice recorder entry #10.) (3:59 audio)

It's October 4th, 2004, 7:26 a.m. I'm en route to school, driving through Ocean View right now, had a late start. Just wanted to comment on dementia, or this kind of cognitive breakdown that I feel that I'm slowly developing. I got to an intersection on my way out, down the street from me, and there was a feeling I had at the intersection of bewilderment, that I had never seen that intersection before. It was a feeling of lack of connection, of fear, of directionlessness. So it was just a feeling that I had no idea where I was, that I had never seen something that was otherwise -- or should have been -- quite familiar to me. This I believe is one of the initial signs -- plus my slurred speech, which is just unbelievable -- I believe this is one of the initial onset signs of mental dysfunction, or cognitive dysfunction. And I want to contrast this with what I would imagine signs of mental or spiritual transcendence would evoke, or bring about. There would be no fear. There would be feelings of being comfortable, being totally identified, feeling like you knew exactly where you were; and yet you were free, yet you were everywhere, yet this place that you were totally connected to was actually just a ripple on the surface of a vast spiritual geography, or spiritual topography. So, what I mean is, there would be a sense of not being wholly consumed by or limited by that discrete message of, "Oh, yes, this is the intersection of Iolani and Cocoanut." But it would be that of, "Yes it is [that intersection]. Yes, I know where I am on that level of analysis. Yet I am everywhere right now, all the time." So there would be a synthesis -- a wholeness -- a complete and utter relationship to all that would be there. And the feeling would be one of being grounded, of being complete, and yet, being free, rather than lost and fearful. It's this perception of being lost and afraid that is a sign of my mind breaking down, in all likelihood.

Comments from June 23, 2013

Just more evidence of the progressive cognitive and physiologic breakdown that is associated with exposure to manmade electromagnetic field. The aging process is accelerated. The circulatory and other systems are deformed as they adapt to and/or attempt to transmit this alien energy. I am still here telling this story, but I am a shadow of who I was and I cannot even recall many of the dreams of social and spiritual renewal that I used to entertain. I am not on a fluoride-based drug like Prozac that eats holes in your brain, but I might as well be.