Waking Dream States and the Perception of a Tangible Rock in the Head
Describes my waking dream states that began at age 15, which were followed by the sensation of a tangible rock being at the center of my head.
Describes how I was able to simultaneously dream and pay attention to my surroundings.
Argues that within these states the dream state was the dominant mode of consciousness, with the waking state being perceived as if through a lens of water, or a thick haze.
Argues that the sensation of there being a rock inside my head was associated with an ineffable, highly pleasurable quality. Argues that this phenomenon reflected a developmental state -- an integration of my emotions and perceptual capacities -- that felt tantalizingly close, yet was just beyond my ability to grasp or realize.
Argues that these events and sensations were important precursors to kundalini's awakening five years later. Argues that such experiences gave me the steadfast conviction that a tangible, holistic orientation of my consciousness to God was not only possible, but necessary.
Kundalini Awakening - Spiritual Signs And Symptoms - February 18, 2003
At about age fifteen I began to have a sensation of there being a three-dimensional, tangible rock at the center of my head. It was a strangely pleasurable development. It would happen directly following my waking dream states, and would linger from a few seconds to a minute after.
It became a habit of mine to lay down with my feet high up on the wall with my butt propped up on pillows; I did it often, sometimes three times a day. I liked the feeling of pressure and blood that doing this brought to my head. As well, I had read in my mother's health books that inverting oneself like this was good for you. The elevation of my legs brought a feeling of pressure and warmth to my head. If it was just after a workout there would be a warm, tingling buzz throughout my body that intensified the process. In this position I would become very relaxed. In just a few minutes I would feel an energy wash over me, after which I would soon be dreaming. I was simultaneously able to dream and to pay attention to my surroundings, although it was irritating to do the latter. It was obvious that there were two forms of consciousness operating simultaneously -- with the dream state being the dominant one. The waking state was perceived as if through a lens of water, or a thick haze. It was as if events external to me occurred down in my basement -- dulled and insulated away from me -- while I, fully engaged in my dreams, were upstairs in my house. Nevertheless, the states occurred side by side, with one dim and distant, and the other most clear and colorful. These episodes of dual modes of consciousness -- of semi-waking dream states -- would last fifteen minutes to one hour.
Following these dream states I had a feeling like I had a rock in my head. The rock -- this three-dimensional feeling -- was located in the golf-ball sized area of the thalamus. This rock was tangible -- or rather, on the verge of being tangible. The rock had weight and mass; it was dense. But it was like an emotion or a perceptual capacity that was just beyond me. There was an ineffable quality to it, like something that existed just outside my field of awareness: I could see it's shadow -- but I couldn't see it. It was a state of consciousness of which I was only dimly aware, because there was a thin veil pulled between me and it. My intuition told me that its full apprehension would be like a dream made real, or the knitting together of my various senses and states of consciousness. But I never defined the feeling like that. I rarely reflected on this rock; nor did I ever discuss it.
This state served the developmental purpose of engaging my consciousness, intuition, mind, and body in an integral and spiritually-oriented manner. It would be instrumental some four or five years later in its giving me the steadfast conviction that a tangible, holistic orientation of my consciousness to God was not only possible, but necessary. Without this conviction -- without this history of waking dream states followed by the intimation of a higher-order integration of my senses -- I would not have had the confidence or the guidance to so successfully beg for divine intervention -- in the form of kundalini's awakening -- at age twenty.
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