Redwood Catchment Tank Sprung Leak In Food Grade Liner - Public Water Spigots In Hookena and Waiohinu - EMF Symptoms - A Burdensome, Inchoate, And Intolerable Consciousness - 5th Laborious IEP Meeting For A Girl With Autism - Pangs In Right Nipple Area
Kundalini Awakening - Spiritual Signs And Symptoms - EMF Complications - More - / Work / Tape Transcriptions - Olympus Voice Recorder Entry #15 - October 24, 2004
2004.10.24. Sunday, 5:00 p.m. (Olympus voice recorder entry #15.) (6:39)
It's October 24, 2004, Sunday about 5:00 p.m. I'm almost into Kailua-Kona here. My catchment tank sprung a leak at the bottom. The liner of the catchment tank is cracked. They generally have a lifespan of ten years; mine's thirteen years old. In any event, I bought a new one for about $500 on Tuesday and I have to wait another week before this handyman who will help me install it will be available. So I'm coming into town here to get more water and to buy a couple more water containers. Whether it's flushing the toilet or washing the dishes, everything has to be done with water that I carry into the house. I have no running water right now. The tank is empty. So I came up here to get a couple more water containers and on the way back stop for water at one of the public spigots that are located a half-hour north and south of where I live.
All right? So, EMF symptoms: The last few weeks (sigh) there has been an increasing sense of rigidness, inflexibility and tiredness in my consciousness. That is, the very function of being aware, of being awake, and of being conscious has become excessively burdensome. It's almost intolerable, just being aware. There's a pressure throughout me, there's a sense of incoherence in my brain. I am having a harder time thinking of things -- of following chains of thought. Mostly, though, it's just on a level of consciousness. It's impossible to be holding or maintaining this form of consciousness. There's pain throughout me. As far as what this signifies, it could either be an impending physical death -- that I have grown so weary that my pacemaker will just give it up. Because containing my consciousness in this body or communicating my consciousness via this form has become an overwhelming task. The body is worn out. My brain and every faculty that I have is exhausted. It is! I have a lot of gray hair, and some other things that have been associated with this perception of almost a solidity to this external perception of my world, like it's solid and I'm not able to see through anything, sort of a numb, inchoate quality to my consciousness. I haven't felt giddy or well emotionally. I haven't felt free.
I've felt quite plagued and burdened by the demands of my employment. For example -- there are a lot of "for examples" -- I have another IEP for this autistic girl. She's not even three -- she turns three in December. This has to be the fourth or maybe the fifth meeting I've had for her. She's new to my program. She started in August. With every meeting there is like 15 pages of paperwork associated with it: a revision of goals; a revision of present levels of educational performance; new meeting announcements; new forms for prior written notice; et cetera, et cetera. And all of this has to be logged into the internet data base [almost a duplication of effort]. So, I am exhausted on that level. The only positive thing to say... Also I've had more of the thrush [candida or yeast infection] at the sides of my mouth, and I look gray. I haven't been eating very well. I've been eating more dead food. I have sort of a gray demeanor or gray aspect to my skin and my vitalness [less bright, effulgent, full of life]. If I've ever been ripe for the development of cancer or some form of disease, it's now. My body is in a state of decay.
The only thing positive to say here is that I have felt some of the most persistent pangs of sensation that I have ever had in my right sino -- the right side of my chest around my right nipple area and underneath that tissue. I haven't felt so much that node, although I have to think about it. It's been a broader sensation on the right side of my chest of a pang, almost painful, but like a pressure there. So there is a small chance that this sense of impending death and the pressure on the right side of my chest could actually mark my being at the threshold of a new or a different or a more advanced form of consciousness, which would be cool -- as long as I don't die from it.
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