Smoking In The Bathroom - Smoke - Cigarette - Taking A Shit - Crap - Self Strangulation - Avoidance Of Psychological And Emotional Release - Orgasm

-- or Why I Don't Smoke Cigarettes On The Toilet

Details my trip to the Kailua-Kona Crossroads Shopping Center where I was assaulted by cigarette smoke from a man taking a shit. Argues that smoking in the bathroom while taking a crap, or smoking cigarettes following sexual orgasm, is a form of self-strangulation, an avoidance of psychological and emotional release.

Social Criticism - December 25, 1999

Saturday, Christmas Day, 7:30 a.m.

Twice in the last three trips to Kailua-Kona, I've been assaulted by vast quantities of cigarette smoke in the bathroom at the Crossroads Shopping Center. On one occasion I saw a man near the parking lot light up a cigarette, take a deep drag, and then proceed to walk ahead to the bathroom. He was no more than ten feet in front of me as we both entered the bathroom. Lit cigarette still in hand, the man went straight to a stall to take a crap. I had to hold my breath while inside as the smoke was so strong and ventilation poor. I quickly urinated, washed my face, and, upon exiting, sniffed my shirt several times, disgusted by the smoke-and-shit-filled stench that clung to me.

I ask, what is the relationship between the need to smoke and the passing of fecal matter through the anus? Why is it that bathrooms are frequently full of smoke? Why is it that many men smoke while on the toilet?

While there are many possible answers, I offer one that makes the most sense to me. There is a feeling of emotional and psychological release when feces pass out of the body. A good bowel movement leaves one feeling giddy, light, optimistic. The feeling is similar to the one following an orgasm, but it is not as strong or as draining. For people who are not oriented toward spiritual realization -- for those who seek to depress sensations of release and pleasure -- the liberating sensation of orgasms and bowel movements must be strangled and held in check. Smoking cigarettes is the most effective means of insuring that neither sustained pleasure nor personal growth occur during moments of physical release. The constrictive effect of the nicotine and the additives in the cigarettes place emotional and psychological growth in a straightjacket, reducing the experience to one of a choked, physical act of self-hatred.

An added take 2/17/2014

Here's a bit more on the science of bowel movements and cigarettes from Yahoo! Answers:

Why do I always feel like pooping after smoking a cigarette?

"It's due to the properties of nicotine and the vagus nerve. Since the detailed reason is kind of long and boring, I will give you the abbreviated version.

Nicotine is a stimulant, which means it ramps up your nervous system. That seems counterintuitive since smokers all know that smoking is relaxing, but that's the physiological effect it has.

There is a very large nerve called the vagus nerve, and it controls most of the motor nerves from the area below your neck to midway down your middle, where your transverse colon is. As such, it controls things like heart rate and peristalsis, which is the action your digestive system uses to move food, and later waste, through the system.

So, basically, the nicotine makes the vagus nerve more active. The vagus nerve activates, among other things, the peristalsis which moves things through your digestive tract. If you have any waste low down in your system, one of the effects is that it stimulates you to need to move your bowels.

In plain terms, a smoke stimulates your nerves, including the nerves that have to do with pooping. It makes you need to poop if you are anywhere near ready to go to the bathroom.

I hope that makes sense.


I know this is too much information, but it happens to me, too. One of our friends has exactly the same thing happen if he drinks a cup of coffee. And I used to work with a girl who did a lot of uppers. We could always tell when she was high because she spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Different stimulants in each case, but exact same physical mechanisms and response."

My response:

Well, it's nice to see some pragmatic relationship. I still have a HUGE problem with resorting to a stimulant like nicotine to perform such a mundane act as passing feces. And then there is the stench of the cigarette that is a nuisance to anyone within 50 feet. My suggestion to people addicted to this pairing: Limit this destructive behavior to the privacy of your home. Please no more smoking in public bathrooms!


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