Able To Sleep - Upon Awakening, Pain Intensifies In Head, Throat, Chest, Abdomen, And Testicles - Manoa, Pali Highway, Kailua, Waimanalo, Kaneohe, And Kahaluu Are All "Kapu" For Me - Mountains Near Kaawa At Least Partially Blocking EMF From Nearby Military Bases

An incomplete microcassette transcription for 12/25/95. To be continued with tape #52.

Kundalini Awakening - Spiritual Signs And Symptoms - December 25, 1995

1995.12.25. Monday. (Tape #51 continued.)

It's Christmas day, around 7:30 a.m. I slept alright last night, though the pain in my chest, throat, and head remained. It diminished somewhat, but not because I felt good, but because I shut down. Going to sleep is what made me less aware of the EMFs. Thank God I can go to sleep--that this EMF intolerance does not disturb my ability to fall asleep. Oh, the fucking pain is very intense now. I'm on my way to Kailua. Oh, dude, it can't get more worse than this. I don't think I can tolerate...oh, this is bad. I'm going over the Pali Highway--the same place where I couldn't handle it before. My ears are burning--the center of my head, my chest--everything is fried right now. It's very strong. I had to get out of the house this morning. I was talking on the phone to X [uncle] and Y [grandmother], but all I could think about was just getting out. I can tolerate sleeping there, but any kind of conscious activity is a nightmare. I'll have to be getting out of the house as often as possible. All night and all morning I was walking around with my solar plexus tight and my shoulders hunched over. I've been trying to close down my heart chakra. It's very hard to do that. Trying to constrict oneself is not a good thing. My solar plexus is as tight as I can get it, at least as far as subtle receptivity goes. I can't screen out electromagnetic interference any better than this. You don't have to flex your abdominals that tightly to shut off the intake of subtle energy into your solar plexus. Just a moderate flexing is needed. But it's not perfect. Though reduced, stuff still comes in. I'm doing my best not to receive this manmade information right now. It's very strong around here. I cannot tolerate the entire Pali Highway area. I definitely cannot tolerate it. If I were to work in Kailua, I don't think I could tolerate this commute. I would have to move. As I'm getting closer to the Pali Lookout, as I'm increasing my distance from the communications towers on Round Top, the pain is diminishing. But I still feel some pain in my pancreas, though. My poor little pancreas. My poor little fucking pancreas. Hopefully, on the Kailua side will be better for me.

(pause) Well, I definitely don't think I over reacted. I definitely didn't over react two nights ago when I got strung out, felt barred from the Krishna Temple, and drove around the island looking for safe haven. I was responding appropriately. Pain, this spiritual pain, must be avoided. But I'm getting more used to it now. I'm mapping out and getting more used to this electronic terrain. I hope that irreparable damage does not occur. But I need to map out which areas are good for me and which ones are not. Eventually I will find a place that is relatively trouble-free. I've always pictured myself, in the event of my enlightenment, settling down and spending lots and lots of time at my house tending my wheatgrass. But I can't do that in Manoa. I need to be in a place that supports my wheatgrass habit. I may call Z [a friend] in Hauula to see about growing my wheatgrass there.

(Later) This is really wild. I cannot deal with Kailua. It's between two big military bases, Kaneohe Marine Corps Base and Bellows Air Force Station, so there must be some heavy signals going on there. My ears were hot, and my brain and chest hurt--especially my thymus. I also felt pain in my sino atrial node as well as that node under my right nipple.

(Later) I'm driving farther up the windward coast now. My expectation is that by the general area of Sacred Falls, Hauula, and Kahuku, that my system will calm down. I crave some peace and calm right now. It will be like quenching my thirst with a whole-body dive into a fresh water pool. It will be great to find a place where my nervous system is simply not strained by artificial EMFs. I really need to do some research on what kinds of electrical waves these are, how they're generated, and what is the mechanism by which antennas pick them up. I want to know more about all of this. Then I might know more about the analogous receiving mechanism in the human body.

I'm moving up the windward coast. Waimanalo, Kailua, Kaneohe, and Kahaluu are all kapu. I don't mind that my choices are narrowing. I just want God, this sensitivity, to tell me, point blank, what my options are. I don't mind eliminating some options. It makes me all the more determined to make those trips to Molokai, Lanai, Maui, and the Big Island. I'm still looking for my little abode of peace. I'm pretty excited about Molokai: there's a health food store in Kaunakakai, some good hiking, very little development, and most especially there's no military--which ought to help a lot.

(Pause) I'm nearing Kaawa. Just as I got around that bend by the mountain, the signals from the Kaneohe Marine Corps Base were largely blocked out. The pain in my head has gone away for the first time in the last 45 minutes. Yes, it's gone. I still have a pain in my chest from some low level ambient noise here, though. But it's more symmetrical and less intense around the center, which means that it's better, less painful, more healthful. It's definitely better out here. Given the close proximity to the ocean around here, I'd be concerned about tsunamis. This whole low-laying area is a sitting duck. But I'm less concerned about tsunamis than damage from this radiation. I'm so happy that I've got the faith that I do. If I were a less strong person I'd be totally strung out right now. But look at me! For a spiritually inclined person I really have my feet in the world. For one, I'm driving this vehicle. This car itself is a testament to my immersion in the modern system of things. I own and maintain this car. I've got the Cocteau Twins playing on my cassette player...

(end of tape #51)

(beginning tape #52)...

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